Hey, you—dude in Ray-Bans, puffy vest, and tight jeans, holding an Apple shopping bag? Yeah, you, the one who blew a snot rocket while strolling no more than five feet in front of me? Maybe next time you can stop for just a moment and check to see if there are other pedestrians around before clearing your fucking nose? I would prefer not to feel your germ stream spraying onto my face. And dodging your human ooze during the height of flu season isn't part of my winter health regimen.

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