Yeah, I'm That Guy

Comments

1

I would think twice before putting a bucket of shit on this persons lawn. He seems like the type that would quickly return the favor and do something like wipe the shit all over your car or front door. If you have a picture, I would make copies and hang them on trees around the neighborhood with an otherwise nice message requesting that he pick up after his dog. Harder to escalate, and my neighbor did pretty much the same thing in response to someone constantly putting their dog shit in her trash can and it worked. Good luck.

2

@1 You are right. Anon should just shoot her.

3

i noticed the lawn was super green where my neighbor's Great Dane deposited his steaming rolls. So now i pay my mexican landscaper a little extra to spread that poop all around and give my grass a little extra nitrogen boost.
I have a lot more life hacks where that came from.

4

You've gotta be dominant and direct. Camp out in the dog owner's lawn. Bring a book or something to do, because you may be there a while. Once the owner arrives home, make eye contact with them, pull your pants down, and take a nice big shit on their lawn. Maintain eye contact. Godspeed, my friend.

5

@2 - Well yeah, you always need a plan B if the fliers fail. And, always keep in mind, that if it's going to escalate to murder, best to be the first one to give that solution a try.

6

Dog shit. Yuck! Stinky,,,

7

Here's what I'd do: Setup a yard sprinkler or two, attach them to hoses and attach the hose to the spigot. Watch and wait for the offender to come to your house. At the exact moment they start to do their business, turn on the spigot. Repeat this as many times as necessary.

8

Surely there must be an ordinance that covers such things, you have plenty of evidence too.

@2 - there's enough violence in the world already without people committing murder over some dog poop.

9

@ 4 For the win! Maintaining eye contact throughout the entire dump is key.

10

Missed opportunity: 'doggy doo diligence'!

11

I would tell the dog owner, if you are getting sick a lot, it is most likely flies get into the poop, and then fly into the owner's house and drop the poop on surfaces, or fruit etc. etc. I would use the hygiene argument. It is kind of disturbing to put the poop in a jar, just be direct to the dog owner, that leaving dog poop lying around is a health issue.

12

You could always invite Dan Savage or Charles Mudede or Dominic Holden or Brendan Kiley to come over and kill the dog.

(Disclaimer: I am not in favor of harming the dog.)

13

Dog shit pickler, I salute you

14

4

Leave it lie.
And mind him to mind his step...

15

As someone that picked up someone else's dogshit outside their home this morning, I back all of these suggestions.

16

Hell is other people

17

Passive aggressiveness is weak.

Don't suggest someone missed something when they let their dog poop in your yard and don't pick it up: tell them they need to pick up after their dog and tell them not do it again.

If they keep doing it, and you have photos, contact the police and file a complaint.

If none of that works, then yeah, email everyone in the neighborhood and dump a bucket of shit in their yard.

18

If LW has calmed down and wants a more defensive approach, google "Scarecrow Sprinkler", they actually look kinda cool.