Listen, I get it. We're all trying to get home, frustrated by how those other drivers cut people off, or follow too closely, or cheat and manipulate their way into a better spot in a merge. But passive-aggressive driving is not an effective way of combating that behavior; in fact, it often slows down traffic and makes things more miserable for everyone. Yes, Tesla McFuckface maybe did get in the right lane to pass you and is now trying to merge back in before the lane ends. But by riding the bumper of the person in front of you and not letting him in, you're making that person and the person in front of you upset. And there's always a possibility that Tesla McFuckface is actually a stressed-out teenager, or a confused senior, or a bumbling tourist, or a young John Mulaney "Trying His Best." If someone does something dangerous, don't fume about it and take it out on everyone around you. Just honk. That's what your horn is for.

To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, send an e-mail to Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty.