My Farts Ruined Our Potential Love Connection

Comments

1

You know what, Anonymous? I wouldn't want to be with someone who is horrified by farts! I mean, it's not like I go out of my way (forcing a fart) to break wind, but sometimes I have gas in "the pipe" and have to get rid of it. If I'm out and about and the need arises, I'll look around and see if someone is in close proximity before letting a few escape. That seems to be what you're describing. It's unfortunate that your crush was behind you and heard the butt trumpeting, however, maybe that person isn't for you if a couple of farts scared/grossed them out that much. Maybe someone who is more compatible with your internal combustion will read your tale of woe and make a date?! Anyway, good luck, Toots! Ha ha! See what I did there?

2

Farting in public (when you know others are around and within earshot/smellshot) is kind of rude. It's sort of like belching at the dinner table.

Still, I doubt the writer would've done it he knew his (would-be) inamorata, or anyone else, was close astern.

Still, I guess the moral is if you're out and aboot, and you feel the need to toot, always check your six!

4

Ahahahaha. Gawrsh the illustrations lately are solid gold.

5

This reminds me of a guy who told me a story about going to an insurance company for a job interview. He got to the parking lot then got into an argument with another guy over a parking space. He went in for his interview only to find he was interviewing with the guy from the parking lot. He didn't get the job.

Some things just aren't meant to be but if I were you, I'd try bumping into her again just to make sure. You never know, one day you two could be enjoying a good laugh and telling this story to your grandchildren, but there's only one way to know for sure. Good luck!

6

What have you to lose at this point?0 Ask her to go have a coffee at one of those coffee shops that welcome dogs, and promise you won't fart. It could be the mother of all met cute stories. Don't be a timid mouse.

7

Don't worry, bud, odds are there was no chance, there was just that thing many dudes do where they think any woman who is pleasant to them is feeling a pants connection.

8

Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it?

9

If you didn’t shit yourself you still have a chance.

10

Pretty sure you didn't have a chance before the fart, either.

11

@6 "When Harry Cropdusted Sally".

12

And hey, look at it this way: Imagine how weird it would have been if you'd found out that farts were her fetish.

14

KNOW your ABCs:
Always. Blame. Canine.

15

@9 And in Germany, shitting yourself might INCREASE your chances.