Steven Weissman





3PM is when you start the appetizers. No hangry in our house.


@1 twat

Seriously, is the author on the spectrum? Have they never had to adjust the eating routine? Have they ever traveled to another time zone? I bet Daylight Savings Time is a real bitch for them.


And I thought Slog AM/PM was just a list of grievances.


~Cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner for me however I will dictate the timeline and complain endlessly about it.~

Bro, your instincts to grieve this anonymously are right on. Just stay home.


daylight faking time
is an unnecessary pain
going in either direction.


Lighten up, Francis


Lighten up, Francis


Get a grip


Argh, can we ever get a semi-updated comment system around here? Sorry for the double post.


Thanksgiving dinner at 3pm too much to handle after breakfast and lunch?

Here’s a shocker: sleep in and have brunch.


Deliciously Pointless and whiny yet polarizing i anon. A true classic. Cheers.


And while we are on the topic of watching men concussing themselves, is that what they are doing? Because what I see are a couple of dozen very large men run out on to a grassy field with skintight satin capri pants, a bunch of them line up in a row and bend over to present their bottoms to a tall skinny guy who walks back and forth surveying in delight what he sees before him. He selects the one with what looks like the largest bottom, he puts his hands between the legs of the one he has carefully selected, and it looks like he tickles him in a delicate zone, which seems to startle him, and he jumps up and all the others do them same, then they all chase each other around. Ultimately, they all end up on a big pile of masculinity squirming around on top of each other. Then a couple of guys with stripped shirts come and pry them off of each other, then they repeat that ritual. It's all delightfully homoerotic.


But it's lunch AND dinner. It's a huge meal. You shouldn't be eating three meals if one of them is an enormous Thanksgiving dinner. Eat a late lunch. Hell you shouldn't be eating 3 meals a day anyway. Start intermittent fasting like the rest of trendy society. It's good for you.


Oops, I meant to say eat a late breakfast.


Oh come on, the solution is so simple. Have a big breakfast, then around 1PM, right before going to the in-laws, smoke a bunch of weed. Then show up at 2 right before the stupid turkey dinner thing. Say weird things that make everyone uncomfortable, eat some of their crappy food, leave early to everyone's relief.


This is just the level of petty perfection I love to see in this column.


Who tf eats Brunch
BEFORE one pm?
and if you can
wait till One
you can saf
wait til 3 or
maybe 4:30
or just show up
in Time to take a
little Turkey Home
for the Holydays and
Black Friday when you're
Camped Out in front of Walmart

consummate the
you'll be


If you have become an adult without learning how to pack a snack to avoid becoming hangry, or how to serve appetizers/snacks before a meal, I am very sorry for you.


3pm is when you start drinking on an empty stomach. No more hunger pangs.


pardon me.
the Feasting
was Magnificent
the Company wonderful
and Black Friday's finally Here:

football Fambly
turkey sammiches &
pie! pie! pie! is this Heaven?


here's one for ya

Black Friday Special:
Howard Zinn & Voices of
a People's History of the United States

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