Why do dog people assume everyone loves dogs?

If you're visiting friends without a pet, please do not ask if you can bring your own. It is awkward to say aloud what should be self-evident: I don't want dogs in my house.

And if someone has allergies, really don't ask. No one ever takes pet allergies seriously. "I'll just keep her away from you" or "she's hypoallergenic," they'll say, as if dogs don't beeline for the one person ignoring them, and as if hypoallergenic dogs can never trigger allergies. (Spoiler alert: they do. See these hives all over my arms and neck?)

Allergies aside, I don't want your dog on my clean rugs or my nice sofa, and I don't want its dander and hair all over the place for weeks after you leave. And I don't want to have to say all this out loud!

Dog owners, just assume there is a reason your non-dog friends don't have dogs, and don't bring your dog into our houses unless the host offers it explicitly.

Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we'll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.