I, Anonymous Feb 15, 2023 at 10:24 am
Steven Weissman

Comments

1

But what if my dog's really cute and fun?

2

Why do you not want to tell dog owners to fuck off, they eat and roll in poop, and aren’t cute. Just tell those dog loving weirdos no.

3

@2,

I won't deny eating & rolling in some occasional poop, but I'm not gonna stand by here and have you insinuate that I'm not cute, as that's simply not true.

4

Before I bring my dog to another person's house, I always first make sure to peruse the Stranger's I, Anonymous archives to see if anyone has recently written a sad little passive-aggressive screed about doing that. If they have, I bring my dog anyway, because who doesn't love dogs?

5

"he's friendly! he's friendly!"

My response to that is always, "well, I'm not."

Dogs are for the emotionally insecure. I'm a cat person because I'm dead inside.

6

There is nothing wrong with asking politely and accepting a simple no without need for explanation.

8

@5: That's rich - I'll remember that line

9

I am nearly sixty and have had dogs all of my life. I have never taken them to another person's house, unless they had agreed to dogsit or some other specifically dog-centric reason. And I've never had a dog owner bring their dog to my house without a similar purpose.

11

Same for kids. Please stop putting dirty diapers in my kitchen trash can. Also, teach your kids to eat normal adult food.

12

Granny Smith dear, show me a parent who puts their child's dirty diaper in a friends trash can, and I'll show you someone who should have had an abortion.

13

@3 Yes everyone knows you are very very cute. If you say so it must be true. I too am quite cute...

14

We let our dogs lick the plates, and we don't tell anyone. Oh, wait, is this "I, Anonymous"? Sorry, wrong room.

15

@11 I agree, as the owner of a child that is abhorrent behavior, I always feel superior for my thing being able to shit in a toilet. That means not putting diapers in someone elses trash bin without consent.

17

"…It is awkward to say aloud what should be self-evident: I don't want dogs in my house."

"…should be self-evident"? The only self-evident thing is that you're so socially awkward and afraid of your own shadow that you can't say, "No, I'd prefer not." You don't have a dog of your own, but no one "should" assume you therefore don't want one visiting your home. A general affection for dogs is the default position in our culture, and a friend asking to bring their dog along is not an outrageous offense, but it is a request which they ought to make respectfully and without expectations.

It's perfectly understandable to not want a dog visiting your home (allergies, shedding hair, clumsiness, poor behavior like begging and barking, distracting from the conviviality of the human interaction, needn't even be mentioned). And it's certainly your right to refuse politely. If your friends are inconsiderate and insistant, then you "should" talk to them about that, or find some new friends. The only "should" in this scenario is that you "should" be able to exchange views, preferences and opinions with your friends by now, without sounding like a shreaking lunatic.

18

OP is probably allergic to dairy but always accepts whip in their mocha because they're incapable of saying "no thank you" to a barista.

19

Dogs are awesome. I love dogs. I've got a dog. That said, I can't believe someone would just assume that they can bring their dog for a visit to someone's house.

But also, OP, this is entirely a you-problem. I don't think your issues are mostly dogs.

23

We have a friend who is super sensitive, which compelled our policy: "NO Pets."
We when even had rentals, same policy. One lady called many times to tell me,
"He is a little dog and doesn't shed much, blah blah." On the 4th time I told her
that, I'd try to work with her as long she could take 'no; for an answer. Then I
asked her if she was fucking the dog. After she denied canine carnal relations I
said, "Well, if you aren't fucking the dog, we can't put it down on the lease as
your spouse. In that case, it is a PET. Sorry, NO Pets. At least she stopped calling.

24

" . . . and don't
bring your dog into our
houses unless the host offers it explicitly."

clueless dogs come from
clueless Owners best
they just Go Home!
and Stay. dammit
which is a good
Name for a k-9.

@1 -- a dog like That?
you don't even gotta Ask.

the Worst 'rents try and Flush
those nasty 'Disposables'

Surprise!
not what you
were Expecting?

there oughtta be a
Finshing School.

25

@21 -- cats can be exceedingly Affectionate
and moments later unbelievably Cruel*
& some peeps have fucking TIGERS

*to their Un-
fortunate
prey


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