I, Anonymous May 24, 2023 at 10:00 am
Steven Weissman



Legit I,A - 5/5. Most of the basic "rules of the road" also apply to sidewalks and grocery stores (including the near-demolition derby that is CostCo). Share the space. Move the fuck over.


Even worse - at Pike Place Market, don’t stop at the top or bottom of a busy stairway to chat with your group of dullards. I know mainly tourists do this but still…


JFC I don't ask for much, just install a nationwide system of inter-connected motorized conveyor belts already.


Just imagine the homogeneity it would take to walk around without being annoyed.


@1 - Ha!! absolutely true, Costco and their free food make for terrible traffic in the aisles.
I agree with the writer; I have no obligation to move for someone who is looking at their phone. They need to watch where they are going.


@5 - Ha!! Were you there when they were giving away free wine?


"Sidewalk Etiquette 101 class".

Excuse the tent. But what you call your sidewalk is someone's home.


Uh oh, you want to pass someone on the sidewalk? As in, you might want to walk faster than someone else? Don't let the assholes who won't stand to the side on the escalator hear you or they'll tell you nobody should be courteous and let you by because you should have left earlier if you wanted to get wherever you're going in such a hurry. Where's the fire, cowboy? Ain't nobody need to walk that fast, I have decided! Harrumph!


Excellent I Anon. A classic even.

@7 Sidewalk tents are sooooo 2020/21. Keep up with the times. They all live beside the freeway now.


Don't mention mandatory re-education, or you'll give the CuckerTarlsonians a boner. The solution anywhere but Seattle is to actually interact with the fools, not passive-aggressively write a letter to the editor.

People walking too slowly in the middle of the walkway? Say, "Excuse me, may I pass?" and barge on through.

Encounter an oncoming collision with group of two or more (or just one doofus lostin their phone)? Play chicken, or drop anchor, but don't alter your course. Just before they collide with you, startle them with, "ONE SIDE, PLEASE!", "Pardon me!", or a hearty, "MOVE OVER".

The same goes for the solopsists who don't pull over to stop, or who group in bottlenecks. Let them know the error of their ways. Eventually they may wonder why they're constantly being shouted at when in public. They'll either conclude that they're doing something wrong, or they'll decide that people in the city are just so unfriendly, and leave.


@8 The "realness" of I,A has never been the point. It's a way to find (usually) minor gripes to discuss, which does not depend on the veracity of the initial post.

And doing fake shit on the internet is only slightly younger than the internet itself. If you're even telling the truth now, congratulations - you're as clever as I was over a quarter-century ago.


"Move behind each other! Your conversation can continue in five seconds, and you can let go of holding each others' hands for five seconds, too—you’re not gonna die."

you can't Know this
with Certainity
we're ALL

"The worst part is people aren’t even aware that someone else is coming towards them or trying to pass them. People need to be more aware of their surroundings."

people are Soft. carry
a cattle prod & ask
'would You like
to be Woke?'


When do we get to start in on the mouthbreathers doing 50 in the left lane?


I'vd noticed that most often pedestrians with umbrellas are tourists, i.e. not from around here. And, they walk directly under the rain canopies, as if they didn't have their bumbershoot deployed. WTH?


I just stop dead cold in my tracks when an oblivious group approaches. They will accommodate or crash; they usually accommodate!

Please wait...

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