I decided to take a Zumba class the other day, with no prior knowledge of what it was exactly. I discovered that it was mom friendly aerobic-dance fusion, and in the hour-long class of pumped-up music played, I only recognized one song: Beyonce's "Countdown" because one of my roommates has been playing it incessantly. The only line I ever catch in the lyrics is "Me and my boof, and my boof boot riding." Boof Boof? I asked my Beyonce-loving roomate what that meant, and she texted me "a Boof Boof is your Boof." Feeling dissatisfied with that answer and instead of actually listening to the song more, I conducted an informal text poll to determine what some of my friends and acquaintances thought it was:

"It's her pet chihuahua."
"Boof Boof is a modernized Foot Foot from the Shaggs!"
"I think it's a small gay lapdog."
"I have no clue."
"I think it's a boyfriend."
"A shelf butt. A Bouffant?"
"A dance involving the butt."
"A 100% natural loofah from PCC."

What the fuck is a Boof Boof? Someone please tell me.