Last night, The Stranger and Washington Bus joined forces to blast politically-engaged Seattleites off to the stars for Candidate Survivor 2017: A Seattle Space Odyssey. Mayoral candidates Nikkita Oliver, Cary Moon, Jessyn Farrell, Jenny Durkan, Bob Hasegawa, Mike McGinn, and Jason Roberts duked it out on the Neumos stage, showing off their talents, brains, and political chops to win civics nerds' hearts (and votes). Stranger City Hall reporter Heidi Groover served on the judges board, perhaps a little against her will.
In case you couldn't join in on the festivities, here are all of last night's highlights—and some incredibly cringeworthy moments...
But first: If you don't want to experience the night through tweets (many of which were sent out while under the influence of a pot lozenge), check out our Facebook live videos. Here's round one, two, and three.
Round one: Quickfire Q&A
Washington Bus Executive Director Emilio Garza grilled each candidate for a minute.
Farrell: Bring sonics back over Seahawks winning every game. Touts KC young dems endorsement. Doesn't support Olympia property tax ^
— Steven Hsieh (@stevenjhsieh) July 12, 2017
Bob Hasegawa was just asked if a person can use an Orca card for a "moustache ride." Dear god.
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
McGinn: Still has Candidate Survivor 2013 trophy. Touts all endorsements. "They all matter." Never been to drag show. Rides 10-15/ day
— Steven Hsieh (@stevenjhsieh) July 12, 2017
Oliver: Moving to Rainier Beach. Proud of @SEATransitRider endorsement. Would build Octavia Butler statue. Socialist Alternative is "strong"
— Steven Hsieh (@stevenjhsieh) July 12, 2017
Roberts: Not growing beard since 1970. Lives in Georgetown. Soundgarden > Pearl Jam. Income tax is "futile."
— Steven Hsieh (@stevenjhsieh) July 12, 2017
Round Two: The Political Spectrum
All candidates were given a single-use "explain" card, which could be used to give a one-minute explanation of their position on any issue.
# of candidates who don't want to run for statewide office YEAH RIGHT. Softballllll #candidatesurvivor pic.twitter.com/b6ft9UcF4g
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
He says we need treatment sites first, injection sites later.
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
Support building new youth jail? Durkan sole "yes." Cites current jail conditions. pic.twitter.com/tTvAbk9tbl
— Steven Hsieh (@stevenjhsieh) July 12, 2017
All say yes to decriminalizing sex work. Hasegawa kind of wandered around for a bit, then says he wanted to explain.
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
All candidates said they supported and aligned with the #BlackLivesMatter movement. But what about the #BlueLivesMatter? Durkan was a solid "yes."
Oh man. McGinn just used his own explain card to hand to Nikkita Oliver.
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
...devalued black lives now.
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
After this round, audience members texted in their votes to eliminate two candidates from the survivor race. Oliver won the first two rounds, to much applause, and McGinn and Roberts were axed. The remaining candidates were all women and people of color.
.@mayormcginn won in 2013. He was out in the first round this time. Times have changed.
— David Kroman (@KromanDavid) July 12, 2017
Round 2.5: "Talent"
Moon gave a fake TED Talk about how to run for mayor. It's charming as hell.
It is pretty killer. pic.twitter.com/OyJIB3kotG
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
Hasegawa, donning a fedora (???), played flute, vaped, and jammed to hip-hop.
OMGGGGG HASEGAWA W HIP HOP FLUUUUUUUUUUUUTE pic.twitter.com/7dhQnU4Oek
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
Durkan channeled her inner Melissa McCarthy and transformed into Sean "Spicey" Spicer to roast her fellow candidates. It was unexpected and fucking hilarious—until she used the term "colored person."
IT'S A ROAST pic.twitter.com/s9MLp8PZh3
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
After the former U.S. attorney's performance, one judge reminded her that the modern term for non-white folks is "people of color." Come on, Jenny!
Farrell took the stage with a band to play George Michaels "Careless Whisper," which included her own lyrics and a thirsty plea for The Stranger's endorsement.
pic.twitter.com/4YkvmWmG8U
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
Oliver spits a song. The judges praise her with fire emoji signs, the crowd goes wild.
Oliver spits. @heidigroover has a 🔥emoji. pic.twitter.com/SXZmHejmuP
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
In the next round of votes, Durkan and Hasegawa are cut from the race. Durkan apologizes for using "colored person" and chalks it up to being in-character as Spicer.
Durkan says goodbye, apologizes to v v v vocal crowd about "colored person" slip up pic.twitter.com/KypXJheFOj
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
The remaining candidates were Farrell, Moon, and Oliver. If these three were any indication, Seattle could be led by a woman for the first time in 91 years!
Round Three: The Final Three Get Grilled
Farrell took a question from judge Sonny Nguyen, public safety coordinator in the Chinatown-International District, about how she would have approached the controversial Navigation Center homeless shelter. Little Saigon community members have long opposed the low-barrier shelter on grounds of being excluded from city process.
Farrell on where Murray admin went wrong with International District nabe in response to 24 hr Navigation Center. pic.twitter.com/M845p3zat3
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
How can Moon self-fund her own campaign? And with money like that, how can she relate to low- and middle-income Seattleites? Her answer to the first question: White privilege.
Cary Moon on self-funding her campaign as much as she does. pic.twitter.com/kJ8tWUDjBF
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
Who would Oliver choose to head up city offices such as the Department of Construction and Inspections and Seattle Department of Transportation? Her answer: Hopefully people as smart as Moon and Farrell—but, more likely, she would conduct a national search.
Oliver on who she would choose to head SDOT and Dept. of Construction and Inspections. She brings up Moon and Farrell as candidates. pic.twitter.com/Vai6teXrnR
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
A question for all three candidates: What's the next big LGBTQ+ issue?
Q for candidates: What's next big LGBTQ issue? pic.twitter.com/ztLeZlLSrJ
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017
After the final round of votes-by-text, Oliver clinched the Candidate Survivor 2017 title. Could this be a sign of a victory to come?
.@NikkitaOliver wins #candidatesurvivor2017! pic.twitter.com/X1xWNw15Sg
— Sydney Brownstone (@sydbrownstone) July 12, 2017