147 min. minutes | Rated R
Sex and the City 2 makes Phyllis Schlafly look like Andrea Dworkin. The film takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human--working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it's my job--and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car. It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls. If this is what modern womanhood means, then just fucking veil me and sew up all my holes. Good night.
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