85 min. minutes | Rated PG
In Battle for Terra 3-D there are these aliens, see, that live in rustic hippie peace on a planet where technology is taboo. Feisty teenage Mala (Evan Rachel Wood) fancies herself an inventress, and whips up clandestine little telescopes and things in her home laboratory. Then, one day, a big, creepy metal thing blocks out the sun. And gueeeeeess who's coming to fuck you up, space hippies? Duh! It's humans! Humans, you see, exhausted the earth—a novel premise! They've been traveling through the stars for generations looking for a new place to kick it. A lone human soldier crashes on Terra and is rescued by Mala, and the two learn a few lessons about cross-cultural understanding and space feelings and martyrdom. Blah blah blah. The Battle for Terra 3-D is basically intended to teach children what destructive pieces of shit they are. Which would be fine, but it's also no fun at all. And you kind of just wish they'd all blow up already.
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