ZEKE

Dirty Sanchez

(Epitaph) *

This punk-metal outfit sets a low standard for itself and fulfills it capably, making a shitstorm of noise with the occasional hook. The song "Drunk" pretty much sums it up: "Satan on the left of me/Angel on the right/Went to the Off Ramp and/Got into a fight." Wait, no, that's one of the better ones, actually. When I was 18 and living in the San Fernando Valley, I had plenty of friends playing in punk bands that went nowhere, and they all made funnier, smarter, HARDER music than this. Zeke would have been a passable opening band at a party 15 years ago, but Jesus, can we move on? From the liner photos I assume these guys are in their 30s, which gives me added respect for the daddies who spend their weekends flying model airplanes out at Marymoor Park. There are worse things they could be doing, it turns out. The one spark of humor here is the cover of Fleetwood Mac's "Rhiannon," (which is being made fun of), but unfortunately this only highlights what crappy songs make up the rest of this disc. I do, however, have to give credit to anyone who goes by a name as cool as singer Blind Marky Felchtone. What's pitiful is that this band has quite a bit of buzz going locally. No amount of energy on stage could make these songs worth paying seven dollars to hear live. Well, maybe if I were really trashed. GRANT COGSWELL

THE DELTA 72

000

(Touch & Go) **

This thang sadly follows the lead o' others followin' the few who follered, well, you know who, on some merry-assed way down Main Street straight to a Beggar's Banquet in the house o' Exile! Dig? Welp, if'n you DON'T, here's the fuss, 'cause you might not wanna miss this bus!

000 is yet ANOTHER Rolling Stones-derived "boogie" exercise based on the "golden" era of Le Stones' Age, '69-'72, with a l'il Mac (à la the Faces) type Hammond action tossed in fer some added groovin'! "Hella rad," right? Welp... um, not really. Delta don't ease thee boogie on down the road as their delivery is kinda hazy 'n' awkward -- while it spun I felt creepy, like I was lookin' at a bad hairpiece! Like, it's all there, but it ain't right! Granted, there's plenty clever in the arrangin' and the playin', as much seems to be happenin', but it all amounts to rather uninspired groove makin'. Oh, and did I mention Delta's annoyin', less than funky "funky" use o' wah-wah! Whatever, maybe they need schoolin', so... uh, can somebody PUH-LEASE buy these kids a Graham Bond LP?!

Now, if you need "groovy," dig the Prisoners or better yet, the entire fuggin Detour and Desco catalogs. Both labels feature REAL, contemporary Hammond rock/jazz. Right, but I bet you won't, as THOSE labels ain't Touch 'n' Go enuff fer yer sorry "indie" ass, huh? Whatever, it's the consumer's ignorance, and maybe fer some, nostalgia, which'll sell this thing... fuck it. MIKE NIPPER

SLOWRUSH

Volume

(Epic)*

In case you haven't been paying attention, it's no longer called "alternative," it's called "modern rock" -- and one listen to Slowrush's debut will explain the difference. Not even a Republican presidential candidate could mistake Volume for anything but the formulaic cut-and-paste job that it is. "Star" sounds like an outtake from a Smashing Pumpkins "Unplugged" session, while other songs make Bush sound innovative and meaningful by comparison. With their eyeliner and glam demeanor, Slowrush strike more poses than Kate Moss during Fashion Week, but songs like "Junkie" (with confessional lyrics like "I don't mind telling you/That I miss fucking you") and "Velvet Self" (self-explanatory) suggest that the band should spend more effort on songwriting and less time in front of the mirror -- or the television. BARBARA MITCHELL

POSTER CHILDREN

DDD

(spinART) **

With DDD, Poster Children seem particularly primed to burst out beyond their fringe popularity. They keep most everything under four minutes and four chords (which is good). All the requisite influences are there (Beatles, '60s psychedelia, Ramones), but occasionally the guitar virtuosity can feel a little wanky, as on the instrumental "Judge Freeball." Most of DDD, however, wouldn't feel out of place on The End. And the shiny tunes like "Rock and Roll" and "Strange Attractors" will certainly keep your head bobbing 'til they pogo into town. ADAM WISNIEWSKI


In Stores February 22

BOWERY ELECTRIC, Lushlife (Beggars Banquet) Layered layabout music.

ALEX CHILTON, Set (Bar None) The careworn rock star applies his still-sterling voice to standards like "April in Paris" with the usual success.

DIGGIN' IN THE CRATES, Diggin' in the Crates (Tommy Boy) Fat Joe collaboration with KRS-ONE, Milano, Big Pun, and Cuban Link guesting.

DOKKEN, Live from the Sun (CMC Int'l) He's back.

MICHAEL HUTCHENCE, Michael Hutchence (V2) Not so good pre- and post-death solo project for the INXS singer.

THE LOUD FAMILY, Attractive Nuisance (Alias) Power pop that Big Star fans should love.

MILLENCOLIN, Pennybridge Pioneer (Epitaph) Swedish skatepunk.

MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE, Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy (Elektra)

YO LA TENGO, And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside-Out (Matador) The reliable and technically astounding trio break no new ground with this album, but no one was asking them to.