The Dixie Chicks have sass out the ass! Consider the video for their hit single, "Ready to Run," in which three sassy brides-to-be flee their weddings and pedal away on sassy bikes! Not sassy enough? How about "Goodbye Earl," in which a sassy woman sasses (poisons) her physically abusive husband, portrayed by NYPD Blue's Dennis Franz? Then, after sassing his body in a tarp and heaving it from a cliff, she dances a sassy dance alongside the Chicks to a chorus so far from country music that it could have been written by a team of industry hacks, which, of course, it was.
I am not a Midwestern woman between the ages of 18 and 45, who dreams only of momentary freedom from the hell on earth that is my bleak, oppressive marriage to a third-generation hog farmer incapable of expressing love--but damn if I don't feel like one when I hear the sweet, sad refrain of "Cowboy Take Me Away." Yes, to be swept up in the arms of a rugged cowboy, clutching at his firm shoulders as we gallop toward New York City for a private, sassy taping of The Rosie O'Donnell Show.
Will another irony-laden indictment of the latest pop dynamo slow the Dixie Chicks juggernaut? No. Fighting a war against pop begins to feel incredibly silly, because no matter what anybody says, for the Dixie Chicks and their malls full of free-spending fans, it's the music that will always be most important. Music, and sass--those are their two main concerns. Music, sass, and wearing the finest cashmere sweaters known to man. And perfect skin--music, sass, cashmere sweaters, unblemished skin, and the Official Dixie Chicks Mousepad, available for $13.95 plus shipping and handling at dixiechicks.com. Indeed, their five chief interests are music, sass, cashmere, skin, mousepads, and Capri pants. No--that's six. Damn.
