Upon my arriving at "the Bowie Room" and introducing myself, a fellow named Jonathan quips, "You're from The Stranger? I feel like I need to get really drunk now to give you something to write about." I tell him to go for it. Three bands are playing "Gina's Big Gaye Birthday Bash for Bad Kids," and by the end of the first band, Halophile, one belligerently drunk guy is already trying to pick fights. He is asked to leave the party, and as he stumbles to the lawn his roommate and neighbor wrestle him to the ground and take his keys. This only infuriates the drunkard, and he tries to start a fight with his neighbor, who is over twice his age. With little effort the older gentleman pins the drunkard to the turf and exclaims, "I'm gonna call your mom, motherfucker! I know she's home, it's Christmaaaaas!"

As he mentioned he might, Jonathan gets blackout drunk before his band Ivan the Wheel headlines the show. He is defiantly out of tune with the rest of his band and far too drunk to perform properly. By the end of the set he is on his knees in front of his amp, making squelching noises out of his guitar and slamming it over and over into the cabinet. His bandmates are noticeably frustrated, but it's a fascinating and entertaining train wreck. Ivan the Wheel is a grungy band, and this is the grungiest display I've seen in ages.

Want to make fun of The Stranger for smoking clove cigarettes at your next party? Well go ahead, you'll find me laughing in my flavor grave. E-mail the date, place, time, and party details to partycrasher@thestranger.com.