Thursday 12/25

Nothing good is happening today.

Friday 12/26

Tech Itch, KJ Sawka, Nitsuj, Kid Hops, Rob Noble vs. Dowlz, Dirty vs. Lukki, Sonic MC

(Ground Zero) Seattle's drum 'n' bass community receives a smashing Xmas present a day late with this killer lineup. L.A.-based London vet Tech Itch delivers seven shades of darkness with his foreboding, walloping, and rhythmically complex productions. His recent stabs at dubstep that I've heard are chilling and hard as fuck. Gird your loins and other delicate bits. Of course you already know about KJ Sawka, the city's drumming freak of nature, who replicates what high technology does, in real time, without the need for a power strip. DAVE SEGAL

Saturday 12/27

Loving Thunder, Elephant Rider, Black Pussy, Bad Ghost

(Comet) Loving Thunder have a BIG sound. There are guitars flying every which way, there's some sharp drumming pushing everything forward, there are some sci-fi-movie-soundtrack keyboards keeping things interesting, there's a swarm of voices—or is it one plangent wail?—sounding like an apocalyptic choir. It's like a military marching band from the coolest country ever, about to go to glorious war. And there's a little Black Sabbath in there somewhere, too, to spice things up and pull the rock back to its verse-chorus-verse roots before it gets too acid-trippy for its own good. Any band that can pull all these elements together into something that works are clearly a band to keep an eye on. PAUL CONSTANT

The Kindness Kind, Hey Marseilles, M. Bison, Star Lake Drownings, the Femurs, the Mangles

(Chop Suey) Only Three Imaginary Girls can make a holiday party feel so naughty—delightfully so, of course, but there's something about John Roderick of the Long Winters dressed up as Santa—with those aviator shades, a few beers in his belly, and that missing tooth—that is just... unsettling. As well as hilarious! Tonight's soundtrack won't suck, either, with performances by the Kindness Kind, Hey Marseilles, and Bangles tribute band the Mangles. The icing on the cupcake is that Three Imaginary Girls is donating all proceeds to Solid Ground, a local organization fighting poverty with job- and housing-placement programs, a hunger action center that feeds more than 4,000 families, and skill-building opportunities. MEGAN SELING

Joshua Morrison, Husbands, Love Your Wives

(Triple Door) Joshua Morrison is a soft-voiced singer- songwriter and army soldier who wrote many of his tender acoustic songs while serving in Iraq. Morrison is the opposite of whatever stereotypes there are about the more beef-headed U.S. soldiers who shoot guns while blasting Kid Rock, Nickelback, and System of a Down. His simple songs, often on the sadder side of the emotional spectrum, easily reverberate throughout the room, even with the most gentle guitar strumming. And his voice is filled with fervor, despite its quiet tenderness. The simplest lines become poignant; in the song "Home," when he sings, "When I saw you in that dress, I felt alive for the first time," I get goose bumps. MEGAN SELING

Sunday 12/28

Schoolyard Heroes, William Control, Creature Feature, Black Houses

(El Corazón) Every year, around this time, Schoolyard Heroes celebrate the holidays in a way only Schoolyard Heroes can—with a loud, heavy (which refers to both the music and the amount of eyeliner) rock show. The band's annual Home for the Horrordays event takes advantage of the downtime between Christmas and New Year's, and brings together friends and fans for a not-so-silent night. They've upped the ante this year by releasing two new holiday tracks—"Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel" is the most hardcore Hanukkah song you'll ever hear, and "I Want Your Soul for Christmas" showcases Ryann Donnelly's more romantic voice crooning over jingle bells... singing about stealing souls for Christmas. Happy holidays! MEGAN SELING

Sirens and Sailors, Johnny O'Donnell & Slam, T.v. Coahran

(Sunset) Hitler-via-Ron Mael–mustached local musician T.v. Coahran plays a ramshackle, vaudevillian brand of rock with irrepressible enthusiasm and a penchant for dramatic vocalizing and mythological lyrical themes. A musical misfit/provocateur, Coahran has put forth a lot of hustle in this town, and it's paying off, with riveting songs that split the difference between Swell Maps and Sparks. Plus, dude's got hella videos on YouTube. Not bad for an unsigned artist who spends a lot of time commenting on The Stranger's music blog, Line Out. DAVE SEGAL

Varmint, Fasten with Pins

(Tractor) Varmint are the country-folk-venerating project of several Seattle jazz/funk/avant-garde ringers, including keyboardist Wayne Horvitz, vocalist Robin Holcomb, and guitarist Tim Young. It may seem like a lark, but they treat these venerable traditional songs and chart-dwelling chestnuts with sincere devotion and, of course, their impeccable chops. Varmint's CD Mr. Man in the Moon features Americana-fied covers of compositions by everyone from Sun Ra to Neil Diamond to Hank Williams. That's range, people. For their first set of the night, they'll focus on Moon. For the second, Varmint's members call themselves the Golden Road and play Grateful Dead cuts from 1966–1971 LPs like Anthem of the Sun, Aoxomoxoa, Workingman's Dead, American Beauty, and The Grateful Dead. You may feel as if you're "Sittin' on Top of the World." (Sorry.) DAVE SEGAL

Monday 12/29

Helluva night to do some laundry.

Tuesday 12/30

Jesse Rose, KiloWatts, Deru, NovaTRON, Seed

(Neumos) See Data Breaker, and Stranger Suggests.

Hell's Belles

(El CorazĂłn) For the past eight years, Hell's Belles have reigned as "the premier all-ladies AC/DC tribute." For the past six years, I have dreamed of forming an all-male tribute to Hell's Belles, the premier all-ladies AC/DC tribute. The name of this band will be Hell's Balls. Tonight, Hell's Belles bring their estrogen-laced cock rock to El CorazĂłn. DAVID SCHMADER

Les Deux Magots, Gumbi

(Funhouse) I'm pretty sure it's meant as a joke, but on their MySpace page, Les Deux Magots list their musical genres as Garage/Punk/Grunge. Actually, though, they sound like grunge, and not in a cheesy retro kind of way, either. Their song "Black Vegetable" is just as fuzzy and hooky as some of the great old Seattle grunge acts. And maybe it's just because we're in a recession caused by a Bush, but it's a really welcome sound: I love these guys way more than I could ever love some nostalgia act, because they're young and pissed off and you can just tell they love playing music. PAUL CONSTANT

DeVotchKa, Norfolk & Western, DJ Kid Hops

(Showbox at the Market) DeVotchKa are a Colorado outfit, begun as a backing band for burlesque shows, who fuse various strains of world music with good, old-fashioned American indie rock. Their range pretty much runs from a more mild-mannered take on Gogol Bordello–style Gypsy rock or Beirut's postcard pop to a less rewarding take on Arcade Fire's melodramatic, festival-sized operatics (sometimes bordering on sub-U2 mope-rock territory of your Snow Patrols and such). It's pleasant enough dinner-party music, I guess, but it seems like it would make for a really lame New Year's Eve bash, even if they hark back to their early days and bring out some burlesque dancers for a little old-timey risqué titillation. Kid Hops is always a good time, though. ERIC GRANDY

Wednesday 12/31

Alex Smoke, John Tejada, Dave Pezzner, Michael Manahan vs. Nordic Soul

(Neumos) See Data Breaker.

Hell's Belles

(El CorazĂłn) See Tuesday.

Presidents of the United States of America, Monotonix, the Saturday Knights, Kay Kay & His Weathered Underground, Vince Mira and the Roy Kay Trio, People's Republic of Komedy, DJ Cherry Canoe

(Paramount) These are, indeed, the good times, people. And this is, of all the many concerts happening around Seattle tonight, the biggest and the best one at which to ring in the New Year. It's been ages since I've listened to a PUSA record, but they remain the same goofy, game, kicking-out-the-jams motherfuckers they've always been, and they will doubtless provide a fine countdown and kickoff for '09. Further down the bill is even more excitement, though. Monotonix will, as usual, light shit on fire and show you their hairy asses and, time and fire marshal permitting, bang out some skuzzy punk rock (yes, they play music, too). The Saturday Knights will play perfect party hosts, the always affable Tilson and Barfly trading toasts, boasts, and rhymes over DJ Suspence and crew's upbeat grooves. Kay Kay & His Weathered Underground will overwhelm you both in numbers and with their psychedelic orch-pop. Vince Mira will channel the Man in Black with uncanny, otherworldly accuracy. In the bar and lobby, DJ Cherry Canoe and the People's Republic of Komedy will make you respectively dance and laugh your ass off. ERIC GRANDY

Ghostland Observatory

(WaMu Theater) I think what bugs me most about Ghostland Observatory—besides the shrill vocal yelping, the mediocre beats and synths, the uninspired and forgettable songs, etc.—is that they're basically dance/electronic music for people who won't move a muscle to music unless there's a totemic rock god onstage to worship (less kindly: people who think dancing is gay). I get it—you like lasers, you like Led Zeppelin, presumably you like Laser Zeppelin, and so, given a crap electro-rock act with some third-rate Robert Plant caterwauling, you're stoked. But this band are terrible, a wincingly middlebrow take on what so many other bands (LCD Soundsystem, Soulwax, the Rapture, on and on and on) have done smarter, better, faster, and stronger before them. The sooner this band are shuffled off into the dollar bin of history, the better. ERIC GRANDY

Buckethead, the Portland Cello Project

(Moore) Do you long to ring in 2009 with a man with a bucket on his head, alongside a bunch of other people who also want to ring in the New Year with a man with a bucket on his head? Here is the New Year's Eve show for you. Tonight the man they call Buckethead—the enigmatic guitarist who's collaborated with everyone from Les Claypool to Axl Rose to Viggo Mortensen—brings his experimental shredding to the Moore, with stately support provided by the Portland Cello Project. DAVID SCHMADER

Thursday 1/1

Today is the first cliché of the rest of your life.

Friday 1/2

Shots of wheatgrass juice for everyone, on me.

Saturday 1/3

Zappa Plays Zappa

(Triple Door) Talk about a love/hate musician. Frank Zappa (1940–1993) polarizes music fans like few artists in the history of rock. Haters deride his scatological fixations and what they perceive as juvenile humor and wanky guitar soloing. Champions hail Zappa's wow-worthy chops, occasional knack for a catchy tune, and bizarre song structures and instrumental textures. If you can't find something to like in the vast catalog of the late free-speech advocate (Google PMRC, fool), you must be at least a little close-minded. This two-night Zappa homage by his offspring Dweezil and skilled Zappatistas such as guitarist/vocalist Ray White should be a treat for those who missed Frank's performances back in the day. Zappa Plays Zappa is a noble legacy-extending gesture. Both shows will feature completely different set lists, and attendees will have a chance to win a Hagstrom guitar. DAVE SEGAL

Sunday 1/4

Zappa Plays Zappa

(Triple Door) See Saturday.

Finally Punk, Talbot Tagora

(Vera) See Stranger Suggests.

Monday 1/5

Anybody got any Xanax?

Tuesday 1/6

Is Bush out of the White House yet?

Wednesday 1/7

Ancestors, Night Horse

(Sunset) Ancestors' debut album, Neptune with Fire, boasts an awesome cover by Arik Roper (who should be familiar to Arthur magazine readers) of some mythical vista that incorporates cloud, ocean, mountain, and medieval warrior. Those visuals set up massive expectations, most of which Ancestors meet. Their heavy gothadelia roils with an elemental brio, ebbing and flowing with purpose and an instrumental prowess that's more masterly than masturbatory. If you don't get a contact high just listening to this L.A. quintet, ur doin it rong. Tee Pee labelmates Night Horse (whose lineup includes some Ancestors) come atcha with a more pugilistic attack. Their new disc, The Dark Won't Hide You, rocks with more earthbound conventionality. Ancestors are forest and ether; Night Horse are dive-bar/motorcyclist hangout. DAVE SEGAL