Music Jun 24, 2010 at 4:00 am

Kill Me Now

A Musical-Theater Queen Listens to the Billboard Top 10

Dan Savage
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Comments

2
if you had truly never heard of Katy Perry before this article you don't get to make pop culture references ever again
on June 23, 2010 at 1:36 PM Report this
3
Who the hell is Katy Perry?

I do like the Billionaire song, Dan. I just may add it to my iPod. Which has had no additions in at least three years. Because I'm old.
mao on June 23, 2010 at 1:53 PM Report this
4
Oh, the "I kissed a girl and I liked it" singer. Yeah, you'd find her amusing, Dan.
mao on June 23, 2010 at 2:04 PM Report this
5
Thanks for that, Dan. As a Show Tune Queen you have saved me the trouble of dealing with pop-culture once again.

Of course I had to watch the Gaga video. (Following orders) I love her "Joey Heatherton in a pant-suit" and the boys in Spanx and party-pumps.

I didn't hear "Fernando", rather "Olli ollie oxen free."
decampbell on June 23, 2010 at 4:33 PM Report this
6
Not one song on that list is rap/hop hop. Pop music.
gabemeier on June 23, 2010 at 5:27 PM Report this
7
Is the video/radio version of OMG "oh my gosh" and the original "oh my god" or am I imagining it. You may now rinse out your ears Dan. Sorry.
freesandbags on June 23, 2010 at 9:51 PM Report this
8
I love you, Dan.
crisco on June 24, 2010 at 10:32 AM Report this
9
i've never heard any of these songs. thanks for being the martyr dan. it's like lindy reviewing 'marmaduke' y'all do it so we won't have to.
thanks.
reverend dr dj riz on June 24, 2010 at 10:33 AM Report this
10
Thank you Dan. You suffered so that I don't have to.
YanaBanana on June 24, 2010 at 12:49 PM Report this
11
My morbid curiosity has been piqued... I almost want to listen to these songs and break my 15+ year moratorium on pop music. I do, however, fear my eardrums may collapse on themselves.
cts on June 25, 2010 at 10:25 AM Report this
12
Bah. Pop music.
Listen to Sunn 0))).

Punchington Out
on June 25, 2010 at 2:14 PM Report this
13
"Like—no, I loved it. I listened to it 23 times in a row. That's how we roll, we musical-theater queens. Listen to it over and over, until you know it inside and out, until you can sing along."

LOL - So true it hurts.
defman23 on June 25, 2010 at 3:35 PM Report this
14
Gee Dan, thanks for the enlightenment. The mainstream sucks? It's industry garbage served up for morons and force-few to the rest of us thru retail-PA systems and commercial radio? Well, Mr. Savage, who'da thunk it!?!??! I can't believe you got paid to write what must be the most obvious, Duh! statement of the millenium. How about next week you tell us about how McDonald's and cigarettes are -gasp!- bad for us??
Michaelaranda on June 25, 2010 at 6:49 PM Report this
15
Good feature yo. Sirius(XM) allows the no listening of billboard. Dan made me laugh AND spared me actually listening to pop music! Who is Justin Bieber, I am all about Katie Perry!
Clarence42 on June 25, 2010 at 11:44 PM Report this
16
Oh man, at first I didn't even realize this was Dan. I was like, "what the hell kind of righteous thespian bitch wrote this straightwad, obnoxious, gay-bashing, COMMERCIALISM BAD ACTUAL SINGING GOOD piece of garbage rant?"

Then I saw who wrote it. Nice one, Savage. I still love you.

Though Alejandro is obviously more a rip off of Ace Of Base. And where the hell is Kylie on this list? Isn't she in the Top 10 already?
on June 27, 2010 at 6:13 AM Report this
17
I just took it upon myself to listen to at least a few seconds of all these on Youtube just now.. and sure they all suck, but

about that Billionaire song.. I hate to burst your bubble, Dan, but it is absolutely worse than the Usher song.. (worse than Usher!)
aiff on June 28, 2010 at 12:20 AM Report this
18
aiff on June 28, 2010 at 12:24 AM Report this
19
(trying to fix the underline tag...)
aiff on June 28, 2010 at 12:28 AM Report this
20
Thankfully, there's much more to music than the Billboard Top 10 and songs in musicals.

Roma on June 28, 2010 at 9:05 AM Report this
21
What a bunch of whining.

Most of these songs are way better than any I here whenever I'm in a gay bar or gay-friendly disco.
Will in Seattle on June 28, 2010 at 12:17 PM Report this
22
I haven't heard any of these songs before...
Nic in Greenlake on June 28, 2010 at 12:25 PM Report this
23
You should hear them singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" at Anfield when Liverpool walk out onto the pitch. Send chills up your spine, even if it is based on the Gerry and the Pacemakers version.

Also, the version opposing fans sing, with the lyrics changed to "sign on, sign on, with your pen in your hand, and you'll NEEEEEver work again" is quite funny. Sometimes they shake wads of money too.
Fnarf on June 28, 2010 at 1:11 PM Report this
24
I heard Drake for the first time last night on NPR's music talk show. (Yes, I am a stereotype.) Holy shit was the song they played boring. The fuckers who host the show where trying to hype it up as "The New, Thoughtful Hiphop" because thoughtful hiphop never happened before in their dumbass world.
dwight moody on June 28, 2010 at 1:13 PM Report this
25
A list like this without K'naan's Wavin' Flag on it is awfully provincial.

Sure it's at least two years old, but one of its more recent versions is #5 on the world charts thanks to the World Cup (and Coke).
http://www.mediatraffic.de/tracks.htm

For nearly any other country, this will likely be remembered as the song of the summer.
dirge on June 28, 2010 at 1:59 PM Report this
26
Every generation finds its own musical voice, but yeah, music's been in quite a state for several years now. And while pop music has always had a short expiry date, it wasn't always meaningless and banal: male performers who look and speak like they just got out of the pen (save for the rings) and female performers who would be more at home in burlesque.

I think it's the lack of music education.

And maybe I read it wrong, but Steve Lawrence had a hit with "Go Away, Little Girl" years before Toothy did.

Bauhaus I on June 28, 2010 at 3:11 PM Report this
27
At least that Lady GaGa video had some cross-dressing guys and a mock pegging scene. mmm...pegging....
bugwitch on June 28, 2010 at 3:33 PM Report this
28
Alejandro is much better when sung by Jesse Tyler Ferguson: http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=tWvggPT4…
Djelibeybi on June 28, 2010 at 10:05 PM Report this
29
Not sure why my comment above seems to have been truncated. Anyway, Alejandro when sung by a musical theatre queen, i.e. Jesse Tyler Ferguson, is a far more enjoyable experience. Search YouTube for high-quality evidence of this!
Djelibeybi on June 28, 2010 at 10:09 PM Report this
30
One of my more liberating moments of the last ten years was the realization that current pop music wasn't written/produced/promoted with me in mind. I had moved out of the target audience. I didn't have to try and keep up. I'm sure I've missed some good stuff along the way but I don't mind. "When Pigs Fly"? "Steel Pier" ? "She Loves Me"? You bet!
Laurence on June 28, 2010 at 10:19 PM Report this
31
But Dan, what about, you know, good music? Good music besides musical theatre? It's not like the only two choices are Broadway or the latest pop crap. I know you listen to other stuff - you mentioned liking the Dresden Dolls once. Give with more recommendations in the column. Support struggling artists! (Cue the Marseillaise).
Lance Thrustwell on June 29, 2010 at 7:06 AM Report this
32
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's reviews written by people who know absolutely nothing about what they're reviewing.

This sucked. A lot.
on June 29, 2010 at 8:54 AM Report this
33
@32>>>so did most of the music he reviewed.
bugwitch on June 29, 2010 at 7:32 PM Report this
34
it's just pop music. it's not supposed to be deep. relax. what's fun about looking down on everyone else?
noquar on June 30, 2010 at 7:12 AM Report this
35
Who knew the nation's leading gay spokesperson was such an aging curmudgeon?
K on June 30, 2010 at 9:28 AM Report this
36
AHHH Thank you so much. I have actually been listening to a lot more radio in the past few months (since my girlfriend is a DJ and works in the clubs and listening to the radio is kinda like homework) and am suffering for it. I am so grateful to hear your critiques. I feel like "I'm coming home" after a long stint out of show choir and theatre!
BellatrixSavino on June 30, 2010 at 8:27 PM Report this
37
The 'Billionaire' song may find a second life in a TV commercial or movie, but beyond that, no one will give a flying F about any of these songs at the end of summer, and by this time next year they will be out of our lives permanently.
jtodd on July 5, 2010 at 8:52 AM Report this

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