Music Jul 1, 2010 at 4:00 am

A Complete Herstory of Women in Music

Mike Bertino

Comments

1
You forgot your Mom, biatch...
2
Completeness Fail:
That musical bridge in Tacoma, Sleater, something.
3
Ethel Merman, human vuvuzela! Comedy gold. But totally unfair, because a vuvuzela only blows one note, b-flat, whereas Ethel's singing range covered nearly a full octave.
4
the value of today increased so hard after reading this that the stock market is crying (more).
5
Based on your description of Ani DiFranco, the blame for my life c. 1998-2000 can now firmly be pinned on her tattooed shoulders. Sorry, Mom.
6
Aw, I remember Biore strips. Cosmetic nostalgia!
7
Kitty Wells, Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Tammy Wynette, Connie Smith; why do you think it's called country music?
8
If you were going to mention bands with female bass players, how could you leave out Talking Heads? Tina Weymouth STARTED the whole "woman playing bass in the band and just being part of the band" thing.
9
Lindy, wtf? This article is terrible.
10
"melted pile of sadness goo." Yup that is Courtney Love from now on. Thanks Miss West.
11
Morgellons... now I have something new to drop on my hypochondriac friend. Thanks and spanks, Mizz Lindy!
12
Thank you for resisting the knee jerk reaction to make an irony joke about Alanis.
13
I keep trying to turn this generation of emo girls on to Carrie Akre's work from Hammerbox and Goodness. Unfortunately they will insist on playing Paramore.

At least Evanescence and Kittie are pretty much done.
14
Some pretty serious lolz in this one, Lindy.
15
you push way to hard. if it doesnt come naturally, dont force it. it shows.
16
No Joan Baez? Lame.
18
Yes, everyone else is pointing out more people. Yes, it's funny the way it is, damnit.

But: Hildegard von Bingen.
19
Ha!! Thank you for finally explaining Sheryl Crow to me, Lindy! You are the BEST!
20
Hnarfle.. "The Bass Guitar (mostly 1990's).. You can count to four, right??"

It hurts becawse it's troooooo..... hnarf...

And also: @18 is totally right ---> von BINGEN!! w00t!!
21
"Ladies, can we please lay off the saxophones?"

Whoa, there-we're not talking about international smoothsation Sade here, are we?
23
Totally awesome Lindy. For what it's worth on the topic, everyone should check out Fanny, probably the first real female rock band to have any major label success.
24
"Hella" used only once would have been one time too many.
26
Well done.
27
Shame Gaga's talents don't include music. Otherwise I think she's amazing.

In a way
28
karen o
29
karen o
30
Oh come on Lindy, no Blondie? Debbie Harry was, for about 3 albums, great.
31
What a terrible article. Totally devoid of humor. Plus you didn't mention Hildegaard von Bingen.
32
I don't think the tone of this article is funny at all... and I'm a man. This would be a fine article if it wasn't so haughty the whole time. Humor's one thing and sexism is another.
33
First off, I was very excited to see the name Mama Cass on the cover of the Stranger this week. I immediately turned to page 29 to see what was written about her and was greatly disappointed. In a music city, in an alternative newspaper I was expecting a more serious piece of journalism and not just a bunch of jokes about great women in rock history. It makes me sad to see this kind of stuff in the Stranger and even more sad that so many people find this sort of piece so funny. Perhaps a joke here and there would be one thing if it was combined with real facts, and history. The article comes off as a piece of poorly written comedy and demeans the great women in rock history. It is a great idea for an article but I would much rather read real journalism and not silly jokes and pokes at people who were great artists. Yes, Mama Cass was overweight but does that really have anything to do with the music she created? What about taking a different stance to empower women and see their beauty and talents instead of telling them not to get fat? In a piece that should obviously be pro women, your words are anything but. I know people will say I should just lighten up, but I don't see the point in trash talking talented women and making a mockery out of them.
34
First off, I was very excited to see the name Mama Cass on the cover of the Stranger this week. I immediately turned to page 29 to see what was written about her and was greatly disappointed. In a music city, in an alternative newspaper I was expecting a more serious piece of journalism and not just a bunch of jokes about great women in rock history. It makes me sad to see this kind of stuff in the Stranger and even more sad that so many people find this sort of piece so funny. Perhaps a joke here and there would be one thing if it was combined with real facts, and history. The article comes off as a piece of poorly written comedy and demeans the great women in rock history. It is a great idea for an article but I would much rather read real journalism and not silly jokes and pokes at people who were great artists. Yes, Mama Cass was overweight but does that really have anything to do with the music she created? What about taking a different stance to empower women and see their beauty and talents instead of telling them not to get fat? In a piece that should obviously be pro women, your words are anything but. I know people will say I should just lighten up, but I don't see the point in trash talking talented women and making a mockery out of them.
35
No Kate Bush, this list is fail
36
Totally pointless, not funny.
37
That whole wax lips paragraph makes me so happy. Thank you, Lindy!
38
First of all, ignore all these whiners asking "what about...?" Nowhere does this say it's a complete list of every influential woman in music. So shut it with the Debbie Harry, Karen O complaints.

Secondly Lindy thank you SO much for the Madonna answer. Not only did it make me lol, but I am so tired of writers shoving her "greatness" down my throat. I can't even take it. Really, she doesn't write her own music, she doesn't direct her own videos, and all she's basically done is maintain her physique with crazy workouts and move to London for awhile. She has a few great songs, sure, but no great albums.
I WAS glad to see Courtney Love in the animation, but a little disappointed by the description.. especially with the recent enthralling Behind the Music. Since watching it I've become a bit obsessed with her, reading her interviews, biography, Kurt's bio, even lyrics from SongMeanings.com. I have so much respect for this woman, I'm glad to see she's doing better. She rocks.
And lastly, going against my own complaint, where is my dear Fiona Apple!? :)
39
You forgot: Ella Fitzgerald (1917 — 1996) -- Famous shipwreck.
40
Hello.....? Two words with which to wipe the stage of the leftover detritus of all other women in music because a) she curses better than anyone b) she started the whole mascara/bangs thing despite Avril Lavigne pretending she doesn't know any better c) "Tattooed Love Boys" is in 15/8 time. 15/8. For reals. Oh, I almost forgot the two words: Chrissie Hynde.

And if we can have two more completely-free-of-charge-and-don't-argue-with-me words then please add Nona Hendryx.
41
No Yoko?
42
What a bunch of sexist bullshit. Yes, "Lillith" is a terrible name for a festival, but at least its organizers started it as a way to help promote women in the industry who are generally under-represented by media such as yours. You can ridicule it as ghetto-ization, but when the alternative seems to be ignoring female musicians altogether, what are you gonna do?

I usually love everything Lindy writes, but this is such crap.
43
Lindy, hilarious and great start but you clearly missed a buncha (as opposed to hella) names as listed by everyone in the comments before me.

Kindly go back and start all over again.
44
Hey, let's write an article about some of the great women in rock history and then trash talk them! This was crap.
45
Actually though, the mention of Justine Bieber was pretty funny. Otherwise let's actually give women credit instead of making jokes. Kinda of takes away the point of the article.
46
"The pope isn't a religious leader so much as the CEO of the world's largest and oldest and least repentant little-boy-butthole-touching factory." is maybe the funniest thing i have read in years.
47
Jesus. Sometimes I think half the people who comment around here have mild Asbergers or something - It is not meant to be a serious history of women in music, people, it's meant to be funny and bizarre and somewhat non-sequitor, which it totally fucking is. If you are suggesting more names because you'd like to see the funny shit that Lindy could write about them (in which case I TOTALLY vote for Hildegard von Bingen) then fine, that's fair, but if you are honestly upset because she didn't include an exhaustive list of all the important female musicians ever with informative and enlightening descriptions, then you need to climb on your roof and adjust your comedy antenna. You are the same people who get upset about John Hodgeman's "700 Hobo Names" because it doesn't tell the true and vibrant history of hobos or give their real names and you don't get why it's funny. Plus, 33/34, the Mama Cass joke wasn't about Mama Cass being fat, it was about the fact that the only thing anyone ever talks about Mama Cass is that she was fat and how that's sad, so Lindy is actually on your side here, you are just too obtuse to get it.
48
Lindy!! I just LOVE your column!!!

Keep it up!
49
...except....Where are Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart?
50
I wish you'd discussed Rasputina (in addition to Chrissie Hynde).
51
lebians who look like justin beiber.

http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.t…
52
Men only learn guitar to get laid; a few become good at it and realise they are now God.

If women didn't learn to play bass then all songs would be extended guitar solos and all bass players would sound like Flea - i.e. massive pile of (fret-) wank.
53
ugh, this was disgusting, and so is anyone who found it funny at all.

Please wait...

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