Music Feb 8, 2012 at 4:00 am

Seattle Synth-Noise Provocateurs Crypts Draw Blood

Dangerous and sexy, like fire. Kelly O


Ummm, Skinny Puppy called. They want their sound back.
Worst fucking band in the entire city. Maybe someday I can smash guitars I don't even know how to play, take loads of drugs, wear girl jeans, and as a result get attention from an over the hill never-was music writer. Fucking garbage, man.
the reason the "witch house" tag has "somehow latched on to the band" is because they ripped off the exact sound of two of the biggest "witch house" bands (salem and white ring), used the exact same imagery, and then described their music as "witchy". come on, man, they're trend jumpers who are now distancing themselves from witch house because that trend isn't trendy anymore.


why "someday"?? be the change you want to see! there's always guitars for <$50 at Goodwill, where I'm sure you could also pick up some girl jeans. as for the coke, don't be coy, you know where you can find it! shit or git off the pot, son!
It's a poor day when a bunch of dudes who i. have paid their dues and ii. do not suck* can't get respect because they're thin and choose to occasionally perform in a chaotic manner. All the critiques of them sound like really lame conservative worldview shit, total boring white bread 'play guitars and do it well' shit. I can see why the dude from TAAS got bored with rock. I'm in rock and I get bored with rock because of the occasional entitled whining of the audience.

*I mean come on, I can take you to towns where bands suck with gay abandon.
I find the hate this band gets bizarre. I've only seen them once, myself, but I quite enjoyed their particular blend. The criticisms feel like an uneasy blend of the sorts of things people initially said about punk (puerile! nihilistic!) and the sorts of things people initially said about hip-hop or electronic music of all stripes (no instruments! they're not even singing!).

From the sound of it, the EMP gig was a messy spectacle; I can understand both how that was in the spirit of the enterprise and how that might have seemed a cop-out to those hoping to witness musicianship. Still, it was their show to play; if you didn't like it, don't see them again. Frankly, I'm amazed that people find the time to run around hating artists/entertainers/free-range nihilists for their art/product/nihilism. It's hard enough for me to make time to love the things I love.
Oh, and chiding Crypts for sounding like Skinny Puppy (not the way I hear it, but I'll grant it arguendo) ignores that, even if we ignore/deny all of the influences between vintage Puppy and the present day that go into Crypts' sound, Skinny Puppy themselves already owed tremendous debts to Clock DVA, Whitehouse, and, by extension, Throbbing Gristle and Cabaret Voltaire. And to tie this in with hand-wringing over "trend-jumping," it's not as if Skinny Puppy didn't have contemporaries mining the same quarry--Front-242, KMFDM, Ministry.
Haters gonna hate!
"Sticking my hand down my pants is as natural as singing into a microphone at this point." - I love having my hand in my pants as well. Play on!
If you don't like a band ignoring them is the best way to express that.
The Nirvana tribute was the first time I saw Crypts. They were fucking brilliant. I'm looking forward to seeing them perform their own material and financially supporting, if even just in a small way, their meth and girl jean habits. The whole corporate-museum-sponsored-rock-a-roke was bizarre and gross. Fucking shit up was the right way to pay tribute to Nirvana.
"In a city overflowing with nice, squeaky-clean rock bands, Crypts deliver a welcome sense of menace."

Seattle is a city of squeaky clean rock bands? What shit. Steve Snere will always be the shitty Joe Preston from These Arms Are Snakes with the same name as a much heavier musician much more deserving of some press.

Wow a decent band that pushes limits and is dangerous I guess you bearded, flannel shirt wearing, acoustic guitar playing hipster pussys cant deal with it. This is the punk rock you like to rip off with your ironic t shirts.

Fucking up EMP makes me love these guys forever, no matter what they sound like. I got 86ed from there too. And to think that I had almost given on Seattle's music scene due to too many fleet foxes wannabes and Ravenna wood sit down and watch me play my grandpa guitar while I rock gently. Seriously Ravenna woods is the worst band EVER.
What's with the bloody faces?
Are they really bad shavers?

Or is it something menstrual?

In which case, Way to Be Edgy.
excellent article. this is "mean girls 2" script submission, right?

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