Seattle has comedy open mic nights every night of the week—what makes What a Croc! a special snowflake?

Paul Merrill: No one wants to see an endless stream of mostly amateur comedians go up one after the other and flop-sweat for five minutes. Why not make it fun for everyone? Why not throw some trivia contests in there and give away "John Kerry '04" stickers to "lucky" audience members? Why not read passages from The Star Wars Essential Guide to Characters? (Okay, that was a bad idea.)

Finish this sentence.

If What a Croc! fails I will (hug) the Crocodile to the (death). And then maybe I'll (discuss the political and social ramifications of Christianity in professional sports) with a lawn jockey and a couple of egg rolls from 7-Eleven.

I know it's an open mic, but do you have a sense of who will be performing?

TRADE SECRET, CIENNA! In the last couple months, we've had some of my very favorite comedians drop in, like Ahamefule J. Oluo, Rylee Newton, Solomon Georgio, Billy Wayne Davis, and my dear friend Derek Sheen (who I predict will movie to LA in the next year and be a big stupid star, so catch him while you can!). I imagine at least three-fifths of those will be there on Monday night, and some of them might even tell jokes!

Tell me your best joke. Now.

I don't give this shit away for free! Okay, here's one my 6-year-old son wrote:

Q: Why did the clone trooper cross the road?


Sorry, that was probably a little high-concept for your readers. It's funnier when he yells it at you while you're on the toilet.

What's up next for you?

Well, I just wrapped up my first season of writing and acting on the PBS show Biz Kids and now will probably focus on getting my Saturday morning cartoon Paul Merrill: Karate Konsultant off the ground. Oh, and crying. Lots of crying. Check it out at! recommended

The Crocodile, 8 pm, free, 21+.