Anna Minard claims to "know nothing about music." For this column, we force her to listen to random records by artists considered to be important by music nerds.

Spoiler alert, y'all: There aren't any horses. But that's okay! We didn't come for horses!

Patti Smith is a name I know, and I even have an idea of her stature, her intellectual throne, that she was cool-kid friends with all the other cool kids of her eras—and it seems like she had more than one era, each cooler than the last, maybe.

But this is original Patti Smith. She's staring back from the cover, narrow and severe, a dare in her eyes, dressed mannishly and with no makeup. She is not about to lie down on some blankets with roses and shit, okay? She is here to brain you.

The first words are "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine...

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