Music Sep 10, 2014 at 4:00 am

What Would Katy Perry Do?

Scenarios Where Katy Perry Is Your Super-Fun (But Also Kind of Horrible) Best Friend

Megan Seling
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Comments

1
MY NAME IS RICK MIOLINI AND THIS IS FOR KATY PERRY AND I WANT YOU DO KNOW AND THAT IS THIS I WANT DO BE GOOD FRIENDS YOU AND ME I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY IN YOUR LIFE WITH ME AND ARE SO I LOVE YOUR MUSIC AND YES I DO AND I AM IN LOVE ABOUT YOUR SONGS AND I AM DO LET YOU KNOW THAT FROM ME AND ARE SO I AM SINGLE AND I KNOW YOU ARE DO THANK YOU BY RICK MIOLINI
on September 10, 2014 at 4:49 PM Report this
2
The videos are even better than the songs. Loves me some Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.). Does she even understand half of the 80s references inserted by the production team? She couldn't have been more than a phoetus back in the day.
Original Andrew on September 13, 2014 at 5:44 PM Report this
3





the entire two-hour performance was shiny and beautiful and about as real as Joan Rivers's face


Too bad the Carson show is off the air.

And Johnny is dead.

And Joan is dead.

And no one laughs at good one liners any more.

Otherwise you'd have a great career in that.
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on September 13, 2014 at 8:04 PM Report this
4
A quick check of Facebook confirms commenter #1 is a real person with real feelings.
Andyrew on September 14, 2014 at 7:23 AM Report this
5
Can we say ixnay on the cute pedophilic gestures with underage boys? Gross on Iggy Azalea, gross on Katy Perry, and I'm fucking setting fire to someone if it turns into a 'thing'.
diner mo on September 14, 2014 at 8:00 AM Report this
6
the cat pun is top notch work, ms. nokes.
Max Solomon on September 14, 2014 at 9:15 AM Report this
7
"She took selfies with the audience, had a pizza delivered to some fans in the front row, and rode a giant mechanical horse. She sat in an inflatable convertible while an inflatable poo emoji larger than my apartment danced over her head, and she flew through the air while the world's largest balloon drop softly fell all around her."

All things you could enjoy doing with a cardboard cutout of Katy Perry. When I pay to see live music, I am paying to see live music. It's hard for me to fathom a concert I'd want to be at with a box of pizza. After the show? Yes, fuck yes.

Just saying, If I threw down anything more than maybe $3.28 on tickets I would be slightly distraught to experience that. I think even just being around the type of people who are genuinely thrilled to see Katy Parry in a blow up convertible is bad enough.
on September 14, 2014 at 11:28 AM Report this
8
Rick Miolini is not only a real person with real feelings, a quick Internet search shows he spreads those feelings toward attractive celebrities all over the Internet. He also seems fond of daytime soap operas, WWE wrestling, and he has participated in the special Olympics. I didn't set out to find this much, but the Internet is one long paper trail.
Abbafui on September 14, 2014 at 3:56 PM Report this

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