GIVING THE DIRTY DEVIL HIS DUE

Oh, John Waters. That wry little turdburgler and his cheesy mustache have added ever so much to our twisted, wee lives, hasn't he just? So much Divine. So much barf-inducing, crap-munching filth. So much Hairspray (sans John Travolta, thank you very much), so much Edith Massey (Eeegggs, Babs, eeeegggs!) and Mink Stole (There's only two types of people in this world, my kind of people and ASSHOLES!), so much chicken-porking perversion (BAK-WAK!), so much wicked, wicked glee! So of course it's only fitting that he be honored and adored wherever and whenever possible, in song, in dance, in prose, in your pants, wherever. Tonight, a crew called Atropa Productions is celebrating the man and his mania with Filthy and Divine: A Tribute to John Waters, which shall honor him with Waters-y cabaret, burlesque, and drag. And don't let the fact that we have to travel all the way to Columbia City to see it—with the state of rents around here, we're all going to end up living there anyway, like any flipping minute. But anyway, John Waters! Hooray! Columbia City Theater, 8 pm, $7 adv/$12 DOS, 21+.

ONE STIFF PONY

Speaking of the thises and thats that have added oh so very much to our lives: Pony. What the bloody gay hell would we do without that dingy little jewel of pure gay joy? I ask you. (That's a rhetorical question: Please do not feel compelled to answer, "We'd have to hang at the Lobby or something," because just the notion of it gives me nervous pimples on my ass.) As you might be aware, they host myriad themed dance nights, and chief among these is STIFFED, and this installment features the inimitable disco talents of superstar San Francisco disc-spinner Sergio Fedasz! Pony, 10 pm, free, 21+.

HERCULES AND LOVE AFFAIR'S DISCO INFERNO

I don't mind admitting I've been waiting MONTHS for the simultaneously soul-crushing/soul-expanding magical sounds of Hercules and Love Affair to happen because I know you feel exactly the same. Nark Magazine and Neumos have finally wrangled them into town (I'M DOING THE PEE-PEE DANCE HERE, SRSLY), and as if that weren't enough, they've coaxed Bright Light Bright Light into the deal, too. Neumos, 8 pm, $18 adv, 21+.