And that explains why Paul was never dead.
Next thing, they'll be telling us that Shakespeare's plays were really written by Christopher Marlowe, who faked his own death and continued to write under a pseudonym.
The Beatles were cloned, but the experiment was a dismal failure. The results are still visible from time to time, in a project known as Oasis.
Who is the real Paul McCartney? Only MI5 knows for sure...
How appropriate for the 34th anniversary of John Lennon faking his own murder so he could escape from Yoko Ono and live in obscure animosity among the natives of Papua New Guinea
Whatever. Still love the Beatles.
No, "the Beatles" were actually Andy Kaufman's greatest prank ever.
Fuckin' Obama, man.
I knew it! It was all a ploy to get us each to buy 11 copies of the White Album!
It's not the "pressings" per se that are different, but the additional signal processing Capitol Records applied to the production master tapes used to cut the mother acetates from which those pressing were made for the US market. Capitol added additional compression and reverb, and boosted the midrange. In short, they took three relatively clean, hi-fi UK albums and blurred their sonic quality - perhaps in the misguided belief it made them sound better... or something. They also changed the song order and stretched them to four albums - costing US buyers an extra purchase. Those original Capitol albums and their singles sound like shit, compared to the more detailed and realistic sound on the UK versions.
This has been the most humorous thread in a while, props to Mike and all the good jokes in the wake. And then the sudden seriousness about the "mono vs. stereo" debate at @10. Classic. Honestly, I've always thought the evolution of the pop song in The Beatles work was a little transhuman; I'm not the first science fiction fan to suspect aliens or something. Trace memories of that astonishment with the oeuvre is probably part of the DNA of this joke site.
@10 The American market was about radio play first, then album sales. (Get 'em hooked, and they'll buy anything!) Americans had a lot more radios in their cars and homes than Britain, and most of them were mono. Those radios also had limited frequency range, so boosting the midrange, especially Ringo's cymbals, gave the songs some extra energy that got the kids movin'. When they bought the records and played them on their home hi-fi, the fake stereo provided a fuller sound than they heard on their crappy radio. That's how you print money.
I would go with "variance" or "variations" in the first sentence of the last paragraph rather than "variants".

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