Dear piece-of-shit egomaniac: Here is a little something I believe they call a "pro tip" in "the business" that you think you are already a big deal in: I am your bandmate, your bass player to be precise. You have other bandmates, too. In no particular order, they are called a guitar player and a drummer and sometimes even a keyboard player. If you're not too busy looking in a mirror or checking Facebook to see if anyone has mentioned you lately (same difference), maybe you will notice that there is a word that never appears in the lines above: ROADIE. I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING ROADIE. You are a grown woman. You are not fragile or broken. You are also not a star. You can move your own GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING AMPLIFIER AND PEDALS AFTER A SHOW. I understand that you think your "networking" is for our band's career. Or you think the rest of us believe you when you say it. But we all know that what you are is a lazy fucking prima donna with a bad case of the Susanna Hoffs. FTR: Next time, we're leaving your shit at the bar. Love you, mean it.
—Anonymous
