"Most of Morrison’s lyrics read as though lifted out of a ninth grader’s tear-soaked, semen-encrusted journal."


Fuck The Doors indeed. Fuck The Staircase, and Fuck The Lamp.

I hope you never had to pretend to like liver and onions. Regards.
My first thought when I read this headline was "Fuck The Doors." Great minds ...

I once met a cute guy on a Greyhound bus who claimed to be a writer. His favorite authors? "Oh, I don't read. I don't want any outside influences." When pressed, he averred that okay, yes, he did read occasionally. But only poetry, and only the poetry of one author: Jim Morrison.

I did a lot of stupid things when I was younger, but even dumb 20-something-year-old me realized this was a deal breaker.
Look at that lyric more closely:

"Women SEEM wicked when you're unwanted..."

Put that in the context of a prior lyric:

"Faces LOOK ugly when you're alone..."

The whole point of the song is that your circumstances make you see the world differently from how it really is. Morrison is reminding us that when you're lonely, the world and the other people look ugly, but it's not reality; it's just how you feel. They're gently reminding us that those who reject us aren't actually devils.

Think what you like about The Doors, but don't publish an article interpreting their lyrics before you learn basic reading comprehension.
I have almost the exact same story but the Smiths.

@2 That is terrible and classic and amazing all at once.
IMHO, Robert Christgau's evaluation of Morrison/The Doors has never been bettered:

"Shaman, poet, lizard king--believe that guff and you'll miss a great pop band. Ass man, schlockmeister, cosmic slimeball--that's where Jim Morrison's originality lies... Right beneath the back-door macho resides a weak-willed whine as El Lay as Jackson Browne's, and the struggle between the two would have landed him in Vegas if he hadn't achieved oblivion in Paris first. Compelling in part because he's revolting, Jimbo reminds us that some assholes actually do live with demons. His three sidemen rocked almost as good as the Stones. Without him they were nothing."
I have a terrible confession to make, which has been weighing heavily on my soul since I was 14. Okay. Here goes. My parents had a Jim Morrison poster stashed away in a closet somewhere, and until I was 14 I thought that was Jimi Hendrix. Phew. Thanks for giving me this space to get that out.
@4 Good catch. There is a story in that song that Kathleen is missing. It's not a groundbreaking observation, but, then again, Jim Morrison was "the stupidest motherfucker I have ever met" according to David Crosby. Amazing voice, little clue how to live life. Listen to the Doors for the music - ignore the lyrics.
What's wrong with tool?
@9 a lot.
I'm loving this series, how many bands deep do you plan to go?
I've never been captivated by Jim Morrison's looks or mythos (not straight enough), but I enjoy the Doors as a whole. They're a solid 60s psych band, better than most, worse than many. Cringeworthy at times, much like many other bands of that era whose work I enjoy despite some misogyny and cultural appropriation that has not aged well.

I'm also loving the "Bands I Pretended to Like For Boys" series; hope to read many more!
I am embarrassed by how much and how long I loved The Doors, but I have to agree with @12, they're still pretty good even when you realize the lyrics are dumb. Except Love Street, that song is fucking terrible.
What kind of loser pretends to like music to please other people?

Not any of the women I dated. My girlfriends exposed me to tons of cool music, and one of them used to mock me for liking Jim Morrison.
@14 "What kind of loser pretends to like music to please other people?"

I'll counter by asking what kind of loser calls 16 year old girls losers?

I'm enjoying this series Kathleen, keep 'em coming!
This post isn't about the Doors, it's about Jim Morrison. Not a single mention of Ray Manzarek? Lame.
"gila monster dick bite" pretty much says it all: https://twitter.com/mikethedevine/status…
@4- When did the author get into lyrical interpretation? I've gone over the article three times and can't figure out what you're responding to exactly.

@Ms. Tarrant: My mom bought me the blue plaid sheets, it's not in a 16 year old nerd's DNA to buy their own sheets. Why did Boomer mom's think their sons needed blue plaid?
On the other hand, Light My Fire was pretty potent make out music when I was 17 and it was being blasted out of the car radio on a dark Saturday night parked at the lake.

But I also now have an older friend who was dating Morrison during the same period, and broke up with him because he was an asshole.

Yes, she's cooler than all the rest of us put together.
@John In Ballard: I'll counter by asking what kind of loser calls 16 year old girls losers?

It's white knight "John In Ballard" to the rescue!

The author is 30 years old, and she's using her platform to mock teen boys, cause it's "built into their DNA", you see.

Ha ha ha, but if you're dishing it out, you should also be able to take it. Gender equality and all that.

Here's an idea for a series I'd read: "Skill Sets I Pretended to Have During my Stranger Job Interview."
harsh criticism, but fair. Their music certainly hasn't aged as well as I thought it would. I assumed I would be listening to 'Crystal Ship' into my dotage but now that I'm here I've lost my taste for it. Pretty hard to get past Morrison's posturing nowadays... ya kinda had to a been there.
@18 from he article;
"He said this as Morrison moaned:"women seem wicked when you're unwanted / Streets are uneven when you're down." It occurred to me through my hormonal haze....... maybe I was the type of cool girl who was turned on by a beautiful rock God who seemed to really hinkle that women who don't want to S his D are in a hoots with the devil"
@20, when the author pretended to like music for boys, she was 16. She's not pretending anymore, that's the point of the series. And calling anyone a loser is a bit of a dick move. The premise of this series is clever, the writing funny, and most of us are enjoying it thoroughly. Why you gotta call names?
Oh, it's the old "The Doors and their overrated mystical/poetic bullshit /Jim Morrison was a total tool " hipster trope. The reason you hate them is because you've been force fed the same 3 songs over and over for your entire life. And of course those 3 songs are nowhere near their best stuff. (Funny how that's always happens with bands that get huge. Hi, Nirvana!). Take 60 seconds and check out this early demo of "Moonlight Drive": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_DWD3i8…. This is before Jim Morrison became JIM MORRISON, the navel-gazing prat that you now love to hate. Admit it: if some young Seattle band recorded this today you'd sing their praises. The fact is the chemistry in this band was one in a million, which is why millions adore them despite your snickering about how much they suck. Set aside Morrison's admittedly boorish behavior/persona and spend an hour on Spotify digging deep. You'll discover a band that's worthy of the praise and a spot on the Mt. Olympus of Rock. Or just continue being musical philistines, towing a played-out line about how overrated these dudes are. Yawn.

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