Throw Away the (Francis Scott) Key

Comments

Yes, toss out all of the traditions.

Maybe we can get a new song that is hip hoppy, or gangsta rap. No, it should be a series of yelps and barks, with loud percussive arrangements to evoke the prairies, or a big city traffic jam.

Better yet, just the sound of the emergency broadcast system.

Slam1263 on May 12, 2011 at 8:42 AM

@1, It's a formally terrible song that glorifies war, it's conceivable we need a new tradition.

samktg on May 12, 2011 at 9:38 AM

@1 "Yes, toss out all of the traditions."

Hey, Straw Man, it's a craptastic song, and this is a suggestion to update just one, clearly horrible, tradition with something that has been tested and is known to be better. In some circles, that would be described as Conservative.

That said, as great as "One Nation Under a Groove" is, I have been telling people for a decade or so that we all ready changed it to Ray Charles rendition of "America the Beautiful" and can hardly backtrack now.

on May 12, 2011 at 10:12 AM

While I makes my funk the P-Funk, the new national anthem needs to be This Land is Your Land by Woody Guthrie. It's inclusive and can be sung by large groups.

And that damned "God Bless America", Dubya's personal anthem by the immortal hack Irving Berlin, should be banned forever. I stopped going to baseball games because of that piece of shit.

Sir Vic on May 12, 2011 at 2:38 PM

It is so fitting that you are @#2.

I like war; it cuts down on the number of people competing for resources that I want to use.

And what are you suggesting hipster, the theme from the Pabst commercial?

If the author had suggested Parliament or Radio, I might have considered it.

Slam1263 on May 12, 2011 at 4:09 PM

@4: that song is god damned SOSHLYZM and the author was a god damned SOSHLYST.

"As I was walkin' - I saw a sign there
And that sign said - no tress passin'
But on the other side .... it didn't say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!"

it's easier if we just split the nation up. can we discuss the Cascadian National Anthem?

Max Solomon on May 12, 2011 at 4:40 PM

"America" by Neil Diamond. End of story.

Y on May 12, 2011 at 4:51 PM

No.

Andy on May 12, 2011 at 5:04 PM

Lift Every Voice!

mr pinky on May 12, 2011 at 5:20 PM

why don't you just wipe the feces from your tucus with the constitution and micterate on ye ol declaration of independence, segal

seattlestew on May 12, 2011 at 5:20 PM

I think our national anthem should be composed of every song that's ever been written in America by people other than John Mellencamp. Then you can pick which "verse" of the anthem you want to sing at a given sporting event, people can still choose "Banner" if they like, and no one need suffer through "Small Town".

I have always been... east coaster on May 12, 2011 at 5:26 PM

I vote for "Macarena" or "Who Let The Dogs Out". Or maybe "Put the Lime in the Coconut".

Fnarf on May 12, 2011 at 5:30 PM

Oh please. We try to change it now, and we'll end up with something far, far worse.

Lymis on May 12, 2011 at 5:36 PM

You guys, obviously it should be the theme song from America's Funniest Home Videos, "The Funny Things You Do"

shanes on May 12, 2011 at 5:52 PM

@5 -- heh --and war doesn't consume resources...

Beetlecat on May 12, 2011 at 6:06 PM

I love the national anthem. It's in the form of a good drinking song and at its core is about holding on to hope even when times are the worst. Sure the plot is of war, but that's not the message. The message is: cling to what you believe even when everything seems against you because dawn will come and at that point you will see that what you truly believe in will never be destroyed by bombs or rockets or other forces against you.

Sure its archaic and old fashioned but thats what tradition is.

Come to a Sounders game and hear thirty thousand people singing it with full vigor and you'll understand what a great song it really is.

giffy on May 12, 2011 at 6:10 PM

You are one of two things: 1) a troll and/or 2) a moron.

I'm 85 Years Old on May 12, 2011 at 6:13 PM

@4 - YES. THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS.

Soupytwist on May 12, 2011 at 6:23 PM

how bout some song about smokin weed? or ass n titties?

hope you didnt get paid for this "peice".

aardvark on May 12, 2011 at 6:26 PM

Bruce McCulloch's That's America

Keister Button on May 12, 2011 at 7:11 PM

I nominate Sir Mix a Lot's "I like BIg Butts". Although it is written by royalty, it is much more apropos of the country we have become.

SPG on May 12, 2011 at 7:45 PM

Anyone else just a teensy bit bothered that our current national anthem is basically a big middle finger to another country that has been one of our precious few allies, both in the past century and recent times?

No? Ever get the full version, not just the first verse, which is all they sing at ballgames?

on May 12, 2011 at 9:01 PM

@14 fuckin' A. "party in the USA", anyone. *shudder*. Leave the song along.

HK on May 12, 2011 at 9:03 PM

"when Americans... weren't that into recycling and yoga."

real Americans still aren't

on May 12, 2011 at 9:22 PM

Say nothing bad about the Star Spangled Banner until you have heard Lauri Anderson discuss how brilliant it is compared with the lame anthems of other countries.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB9Fvax67…

eclexia on May 12, 2011 at 9:59 PM

In spite of the many valid criticisms you can make about SSB, hearing it still evokes a cascade of sensations tied to all I love about America. Isn't the strength of the emotional impact the truest measure of the artistic merit of a piece of music? I'd be very sad to see it go.

The Max on May 12, 2011 at 10:43 PM

Well I think your suggestion is pretty good. What about "Old Glory" by Harvey Milk? That's a good tune, but not really much of a sing along i suppose.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiolFnVwoxk

Chris Pollina on May 13, 2011 at 12:11 AM

If the Star Spangle Banner is rescinded as the National Anthem, The Right Wing is going to demand “God Bless America” to replace it.

Personally, I think “Volver” should be the national anthem, even it was sentimental love song sung by Carlos Gardel.

ferret on May 13, 2011 at 2:12 AM

Hahaha, you Seattlites are so funny! So easy to bait and obvious. Silly trolls!

Lala Heartless on May 13, 2011 at 6:11 AM

Hahaha, you Seattlites are so funny! So obvious _and_ oblivious. Silly trolls!

Lala Heartless on May 13, 2011 at 6:14 AM

I'm sorry, but you're all wrong: Power and the Glory, by Phil Ochs. It's one of the few patriotic songs that doesn't make me want to vomit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9a4fFYAF…

Jennifer in Chicago on May 13, 2011 at 7:49 AM

It's better than that song "Proud to be an American" by Lee Greenwood or whatever his name is. Makes me think we should goose-step when it ever get's played.

Cato the Younger Younger on May 13, 2011 at 8:51 AM

There's something fitting about the fact that the SSB takes its tune from a British drinking song. It's taking the garbage from overseas and making something great out of it.

Martin H. Duke on May 13, 2011 at 8:52 AM

"America, FUCK YEAH!" should be the only song considered worthy of replacing the Star Spangled Banner.

Felchtone on May 13, 2011 at 1:04 PM

Safety Dance!

Y on May 13, 2011 at 2:06 PM

#29 is, of course, some tea-party nitwit or worse. You don't even have to read the message, just look at the spelling.

This left-leaning, gay activist atheist (me) was born here, and my family probably goes back more generations than yours does. I am not afraid to criticize the USA; that's how CHANGE comes about. And I will not leave my native land; I probably love it more than you do -- I love it too much to see it ruined by the likes of you.

If you're so unhappy with progress, why don't YOU go live somewhere where your ideals and morals would be appreciated. Iran is probably a good start.

Gay Movie Fan on May 13, 2011 at 2:14 PM

All the alleged patriots and right wingers love something, but it's not the genuine United States of America. Over the years they've developed something in their own minds that bears little resemblance to the principles this country was founded on and the aspects of our society that have made it great. Anyone who can say "love it or leave it" would be much happier in a totalitarian state where they can pledge blind allegiance to an autocrat rather than be a member of a country founded on the principle that the people should question their leadership and never fall into lockstep agreement simply because the leaders ask it.

SPG on May 13, 2011 at 4:09 PM

I think "The Star Spangled Banner" is an awesome tune. It's very stirring. The way it keeps building and building is heart-pumping - kind of like "White Rabbit." Only, SSB releases the tension in the last line and WR just lets you hang at the crest. I'm Canadian and I like our anthem's lyrics but the melody is so boring, so Barney. It's funny, I never knew SSB was a drinking song but I can remember singing it with friends when we were all hammered because it's rousing and everyone knows the words.

Animal on May 13, 2011 at 10:17 PM

Get real. People who watch hockey always get to compare SSB w/ O Canada, and the competition is never close. SSB sucks ass.

We should go w/ the same model, tho-- take a tune that everyone knows & add new lyrics. Anyone want to write a stirring pro-America poem that goes w/ "Louie, Louie"?

But seeing as how the guys who get raging boners over war (and the women who are infatuated w/ them)are so easily manipulated by the bankers, it's just something we'll have to put up with.

Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on May 14, 2011 at 12:12 PM

Have you ever heard 'God Save the Queen'? Or read the english text of the Marseillase? The star spangled banner is actually a cut above the average.

This kind of idiocy is what gives republicans an easy shot at democrats. Be proud of your anthem, it has a modicum of poetic worth more than most of the competition.

Cloudgazer on May 15, 2011 at 5:38 AM

Seconding "This Land Is Your Land". And Sharon Jones can open all the sporting events forever. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wKW6l_Vn…

planned barrenhood on May 16, 2011 at 7:00 AM

I think "One Nation" would do the trick.

Trent Moorman on May 16, 2011 at 9:37 AM

I vote for replacing the anthem with "The Anacreontic Song", which is about asking a dead, white, male, pagan, philosopher for his aid in getting the combination of sex and drugs just right.

Gerald Fnord on May 16, 2011 at 10:10 AM

@28:
I love incorrectly remembered pop culture references. It's like a simple google search doesn't exist.

cosby on May 16, 2011 at 12:53 PM

@37 garbage in garbage out

vooodooo84 on May 17, 2011 at 9:37 PM

the stranger listened to p funk on acid and made a article about it, great.

on May 18, 2011 at 6:19 AM

America the Beautiful works, and doesn't really take a side in the cultural war.

IowaIan on May 18, 2011 at 9:14 AM

@8: GREAT SUGGESTION!!!!
I second that!

auntie grizelda on May 19, 2011 at 1:39 AM

@55: Yes!! America the Beautiful is another great suggestion! I'll second that one, too!

auntie grizelda on May 19, 2011 at 1:42 AM

Too much god in America the Beautiful, also the tune and lyrics are saccharine in the extreme. It reminds me of nothing more than 'Every sperm is sacred'.

Cloudgazer on May 19, 2011 at 10:40 AM

Fast Car by Tracey Chapman.

thecatsass on May 19, 2011 at 12:17 PM

Throw Away the (Francis Scott) Key

Why We Need a New Anthem

Comments

Please wait...

Add a comment

Preview

More In Music

Omni's Catchy, Unpredictable Post-Punk and Domenica Diavoleria's Chilling Ambient

Seattle Space-Rockers somesurprises' New Album Poised for Meteoric Impact

The Unexpected Return of Stymie and New Rage Records

Isabel Hagen’s Comedy Strings You Along

Nirvana Wore Susie Tennant's Dresses

Reanimated and It Hurts So Good

Editors' Picks

Why the Mars Hill Faithful Have Started to Question Mark

Two Women Accuse XO Seattle Co-Founder Austin Bellamy Hicks of Sexual Assault in the 2010s

Council Delivers on Promise Not to Please Everyone in Budget

I Think We're Having Fun

Seattle Democrats Snub Sawant After Request to Endorse Rent Control Trigger Law

City Attorney’s Focus on “High Utilizers” Helps No One

Popular Articles

Emerald City Musical Excellence

Stranger Suggests: Cat Power Sings Dylan, Eric Kim, Massive: The Power of Pop Culture, Squatters’ Cinema, and Free Daffodils

"There's No Space for Something Boring"

SLIFT's Brutal Space Rock and Hound Dog Taylor's Hand's Jazz-Rock Cauldron

Loraine James's Mysterious Beat Labyrinths and Hiroshi Yoshimura’s Classic '80s Ambient Reissue

Julia Holter's Ravishing, Experimental Pop and the L.B.'s Seductive, Seattle-Bred Funk

Rhythmic Magic by Fiona Apple’s Drummer, Amy Aileen Wood, and Eclectic Seattle Beatsmith JP Lenon

Support The Stranger

Why We Need a New Anthem

Comments

Please wait...

Add a comment

Preview

More In Music

Editors' Picks

Popular Articles

Just Can't Get Enough?

Sign up for our newsletter for news recaps, updates, and more!