Time to forgive yourself Mr. Mudede, the cat is out of the bag and it's safe to eat apples again.

I think the things Charles actually writes today, with his twisted syntax, imperative phrasings of a sadistic gym teacher, and non-sequitars, are a much bigger sin against humanity than pretending to have written something that a human being can actually understand.

If only all the things he DOES write were this clear, to the point, and free of watered down third hand philosophy...

That's your deep, dark secret? Surely there is something deeper and darker that nags at your conscience every month if that is your story.

I've got my own collection of moments that lunge up, unbidden, to ice my spine yet again after all these years.

But nothing quite so mortifying as that. You have my sympathies.

Charles,
That's pretty funny. A tall tale all right. Hey, at least you tried.

i once claimed to have written and recorded the guitar tracks to Communications Breakdown which was playing on the rekkid player at the time. I was a partly and said it while talking to a girl nearly 30 years ago. I meant it ironically; a wise ass over the top remark of deluded grandeur as a joke/obvious lie. Turns out that while she looked American, sounded American, even acted American, she was, in fact, raised by her parent missionaries in French speaking Africa and had never even heard of Led Zeppelin. Or the Brady Bunch. Or Mr. Bubbles or Gignator, or "Ancient Chinese Secret" or any other cultural reference. By the time I realized she actually believed me it was too late. I was too far in with my charade. Way too deep to back out gracefully. So I doubled down and claimed to have written the screen play for Liquid Sky. And was working on my novel.

For some reason I'll just be sitting there minding my own business when all the sudden this whole thing just pops right into my head making me realize I'm just a bunch smoke be blown up someone's ass.

Great story Charles!

Thanks for the story Charles. I just checked out some of he and his band's tunes on YouTube. Great stuff! Another new world to explore. Thanks.

Great story! Hopefully it will comprise a chapter of Mr. Mudede's forthcoming memoir "Bhaibhai to All That."

If it makes you feel any better, she maybe just liked you and was merely humoring your claim. Maybe.

I mean, is a simple liar worse than someone that actually makes new acquaintances listen to their own band? I'm on the fence.

I love this story.

Bravo! Haha. Good story.

They grow wheat, asparagus, and onions in Walla Walla. So you knew (and perhaps still don't, in the poetic retelling) just as little about her home as she knew about yours.

@14

http://www.yellowpages.com/walla-walla-w…

Do you like apples? How about them apples?

Soooo.....

Did it work?

don't feel bad charles. i have a friend who back in the days of apartheid, when i was listening to johnny clegg and savuka heard the names nelson mandela and steven biko whispered in a song and said "it's so cool how he lets his back up singers say their names in his song!" now SHE has something to be ashamed of for a lifetime, you were just trying to get laid. and seattle 89 was a tough room for getting laid. forgive yourself. :)

You may not have written Clegg's lyrics, Charles, but you have written a great many wonderful SLOG posts. This is one.

Fantastic music recommendation. I hope you consider yourself redeemed.

"I have no idea why I said that lie. "

Oh, come now Mr. Mudede -- really? I think we all know what the goal of this impressive little fib was. Did it work?

@20, no, it did not. i'm actually happy to say that it failed.

So ... did you fuck her?

Reading comprehension. He just said above that it didn't.

@2. To each his or her own. Mr Mudede's writing style is for me a pleasure to read and keeps me coming back to The Stranger.

Showed this to my wife and we agree: this is a great piece of writing.