Steven Weissman

Oh, man! That free concert at Pike Place was so rad! I got to watch four rad musicians play several rad songs by a rad band. Guess what was radder, though: getting to watch the whole thing through dozens of people's smartphone cameras. Hardly anybody was watching with their own eyes, and it was so cool 'cause they were letting me see what the band looked like by holding their phones high above their heads in front of me! It was like a reverse microscope! So rad! The bass player looked way cooler as a pixelated ant! And because I never got a clear visual of the band, as soon as I went home, I hopped on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, all that shit and watched the show all over again from hundreds of vantage points! It was so rad. I can't believe how many great cinematographers there are in Seattle!!!

What is more impressive is how many people proved they were present at the performance with their stellar video collection. (Personally, I don't believe anyone who says they went somewhere and experienced something unless he or she makes at least three video clips and then uploads them to Shitwitbook immediately.) But seriously, if you've ever recorded video from your phone at a concert, fuck you. Fuck you and everybody who looks like you. Fuck your parents, too.