TEATRO ZINRIZO
How quaint! How charming! Teatro ZinZanni is billing its newest show as "introducing" Lady Rizo. Bwahahaha! Introducing her! QUAINT! CHARMING, I'm telling you! And they might indeed be introducing Rizo... to utter philistines. The Lady, who operates primarily out of Joe's Pub in Manhattan, tours extensively and has graced our burg several times of late. The smoldering chanteuse is a personal favorite of mine (google that shit, I'm serious), and my little twitter is beyond pated that she is joining the ZinZanni cast for its latest voyage into madness: The Hot Spot, which features ZinZanni's signature cirque, singing, dancing, and funnies, plus "a magical fountain where wishes come true." So! If you, like me, have been wishing for a lot more Rizo in your... well then. There you go. (Magic!) The ZinZanni Spiegeltent, 6:30 pm, $99–$173, all ages, through June 7.
ARF ME OUT THE DOOR
Feeling ruff around the edges? Hankering to wag your tail? Do your hobbies include fetching bones and licking your own balls? Well, you're a sick puppy, aren't you? (I'm cracking myself up here, please pardon my corn.) Now, I'm simply in no position to say whether this entire "puppy" fetish phenomenon has gone too far, or not too far enough, I'm just here to tell you that if you are into assless chaps, leg lifting, and/or occasional butt sniffing as a friendly "howdy-do," Arf is alllll about YOU, you sick and marvelous bastard. Featuring DJ Nark and special guest Orographic. The Eagle, 9 pm, $7 in gear/$10 out, 21+.
KISS OFF'S FETISH NIGHT
Finally! I am deeply thrilled (and somewhat fucking relieved) to report that there is now (praise Shezus!) a hawt and schmexxxy new night just for the ladies. I know! It's usually a sausage-fest round these queer parts, and events for just our queer sisters are far too few and far between. (Even though they are including all LGBTs and our allies in the invitation, let's try not to abuse their goodwill, shall we?) So prepare yourself! Brace your black little soul! For this is Kiss Off's FETISH NIGHT featuring superstar DJs Riff-Raff, R-Pal, and Julia PlanetDisco, and the deeply sexy Kitty Kitty Bang Bang is your hostess. Bring your leather, bring your lace, bring your kinkyboots, and prepare to dance them all the hell off. Kremwerk, 10 pm, $5 before 10 pm/$7 after, 21+. 
