WEDNESDAY 3/18

WHAT TIME IS IT? GAY UNCLE TIME!

Have you managed to drag your flaming fanny to Gay Uncle Time yet? Well, don't you think it's about damn time you got around to it? It's a spunky little pip of a show (I am reluctant to call it cabaret—let's go with "variety show"), and this time around it features, yes, our old friend Sylvia O'Stayformore and a host of other talented performers, but also the magical miracle 'mo himself, Riz Rollins. (Rub his head and make a wish—it totally works, you guys!) Each of the Gay Uncle Times is themed, and they are calling this one "Flip the Revolution," so don't be surprised if Kshama Sawant shows up and throws a Molotov cocktail at your head or something. (Please note: Kshama Sawant is pretty much guaranteed to not show up, and we here at the Homosexual Agenda disavow any suggestion that Ms. Sawant has or has had Molotov-cocktail-throwing proclivities. Thank you.) Rendezvous, 7 pm, $5, 21+

THURSDAY 3/19

CHASING BUGS

Let's get just a wee bit darker than we're usually used to: There's this show. Okay, it's a play—WAIT, DON'T STOP READING!—and it made whatcha might call a rather large stink recently due to... well, everything. It's about a gay guy who, back in ye olden times, we would've called a "bug chaser": an HIV-negative individual who, for whatever mad reasons, sets out to get the virus on purpose. (This is a real thing; do not adjust your set.) The show is called Safe, and it's got a whole mess of old friends you'll recognize—Todd Hull, for example (aka "Todd LaTodd"). It's written by Seth Tankus and directed by Gary Zinter. It's going to be a disturbing and fascinating night. Gay City Health Project, 8 pm, $18, 18+, March 19–22.

FRIDAY 3/20

SPRING INTO DINA

There is almost never such a thing as too much Dina Martina, and luckily, she does seem to favor Seattle above all others (screw you, Provincetown!). She has woven another tapestry of spring madness for us all, featuring all-new material (HOW does she do it?) and even a brand-new one of those amazing videos she's ever-so-famous for. Thrill! And I don't have to remind you to get your tickets now, now, NOW, do I, darling? Because we all know this show is going to be harder to get into than a Mormon girl with Krazy Glue thighs. Re-bar, 8 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 21+, March 20–April 26.