NO REFUNDS, JUST RENDEZVOUS
Gaydies and gentlemos! Welcome to your week: a week veritably drenched and dripping in more ooey-gooey gayness than you can shake a throbbing, purple-headed stick at (but please don't; there are laws against such things generally, and you could sprain something). We begin early, with a drag-queen-rich event that benefits, gawdz help us all, "a good cause" (shudder). Autumn "Seattle's Biggest Mouth" Weinstein is your hostess, and she will tiptoe us ungently through her garden of madness, featuring such dark blossoms as LaSaveona Hunt, the lovely Gabrielle Grimaldi (who got totally shafted at a pageant I judged not too long ago), burlesque maven Maggie McMuffin, and the bloody mess that is Seattle's own premier shock queen, the unparalleled horror Monikkie Shame! The money goes to Camp Ten Trees, so, you know: safe space, queer youth, blah-blah-blah. But don't expect that to do very much for your karma. That would be like trying to kill an elephant with an eyelash curler. Rendezvous, 6:30 pm, $10, 21+.
SEX.WAV'S TERRIBLE TWOS
My stars! This wild and witchy event has been a dark bulb casting sexy black-light adventures on our twisted little souls for two whole years already! Can you believe it? Well, happy birthday to it, I say. This is a "definitely dress for it" event, with rotating themes, and this time, the witchier the better—a free round of drinks is promised to the "best dressed semi-coordinated coven" of three or more (you know, if you're into group scenes). Residents Ozma Octavia and Ill Camino have the decks as usual, and Cherry Sur Bête will be on hand to offer you "spiritual guidance." I beg you not to take it. Mercury at Machineworks, 9 pm, $5, 21+.
THREE OR MORE THREATS
This is a brand-new thing, an "entertainment-packed variety talk show," they're calling it, but what we know is it's got Dan Savage AND Mama Tits, so it's gonna be gayer than goose eggs from ganders. That's for damn sure. There's even a magician, an aerialist, and the ENTIRE CAST of Angry Housewives, too! (Overkill? No such thang...) Triple Door, 8 pm, $25 adv/$30 DOS, all ages.
Remember a long time ago when underwear parties were all the rage? ME NEITHER! But the wheel turns, everything old is new again, yadda yadda, and so! You are encouraged—nay, EXPECTED—to get your little gay fanny down to this installment of Stiffed and show some skin and skivvies. (It's what God wants, clearly.) DJs King of Pants (ironically), Pavone, and Schmeejay presiding, and hosted by the enchanting Ade. Kremwerk, 10 pm, $7, 21+.