Underwear Party at OutWest on Fri May 29! thinkstock.com

FRIDAY 5/29

UNDERWEAR OUTWEST

My darlingest gaymosexuals! Oh, how I adore you little tattletales. I asked, you answered, and now the secret is out (or will be by the time you are finished reading this paragraph). What we are talking about, of course, is the underwear party that they throw waaaaaaay out in West Seattle at an adorable little bar the brave pioneers in that far-flung frontier call, appropriately enough, "OutWest." Back in January, I asked Homosexual Agenda readers to attend one, spy like hell, and report the shenanigans—or lack thereof—back to me. As we all know too damn good and well, underwear parties can be a hit, or a great big, boring, stand-around-nipping-out-and-staring-at-your-phone miss. However! Intrepid souls assure us that the event is a sexy misadventure to be had. The place gets packed (no fudge jokes, please!), the shades come down, the clothes come off, and mothers weep—or would if they knew. And lucky us, there's one tonight! Sorry, Mom. OutWest Bar, 8:30 pm, free, 21+.

UNCUT A PLUS

But what if you just aren't the dance-in-your-underwear type? Or, like me, don't even own a pair of the wretched things? (Freeballers forever!) Are you more about illicit white powders, disco balls, and star-drenched VIP rooms? I feel ya, sister mister. Tonight, SIFF brings us the saucy and salacious director's cut of the penultimate tribute to '70s glitterati, and vehicle for Ryan Phillippe's nipples, 54. This version features all the really good smut that ended up on the cutting-room floor the first time. And afterward? It's a full-on Studio 54 party at the Neptune Theatre starting at 9 p.m., featuring Mark Siano! Disco duds strongly encouraged. Do the Hustle! SIFF Cinema Egyptian, 7 pm, $25 [film and party], 17+.

SATURDAY 5/30

TURNED OUT

Gender punk? Gender queer? Just plain old queer queer? Yes, please, all of the above. The Turnback Boyz are all of that, plus a whole lot of spunk and talent, and Gay City is bringing them to us as part of their Origins Tour—a live stage show featuring their signature gender-blending stylings and songs, including "Narcisexual" and "Love Is Cheesy." You've probably never heard of them UNTIL NOW. You can thank me later. (Monies go to Gay City!) Gay City, 7:30 pm, $18, all ages. recommended