They Call Me Mr. Bird Death/Downtown/Sun June 18/2:23 pm: Today, employees of an art supply store reported to Officer O'Connell that "a suspect was acting oddly" in front of their store. When Officer O'Connell showed up to talk with the suspect, the man asked how he could get his hands on the geese that are killed by the City Parks Department. Officer O'Connell advised the man to call the parks department to find an answer to his question. The suspect then walked toward a beauty supply shop. Witnesses inside and out of the shop watched as the man pulled on a pair of latex surgical gloves, caught a pigeon, pulled out a machete, and, in one clean motion, cut its head off. Shocked, the beauty supply shop employees called the police.
When Officer Wall arrived on the scene, the suspect was wrapping the pigeon up in a newspaper (The Seattle Times? The Stranger?). Officer Wall asked the suspect for his ID and the man handed it over. The suspect explained that he had thought the bird was in pain, so he killed it "humanely." Officer Wall did a little investigating: Witnesses told him that the bird had tried to get away from the man, and that it had not been injured at the time. Officer Wall told the suspect he was under arrest; the suspect became upset and said, "They will pay [for this]."
Officer Bowling read the man his rights and put him in the back of his patrol car. At the precinct, the suspect insisted he had only done what was necessary to end the bird's suffering. The suspect was hauled off to jail, where he told police that he had not killed the bird with a machete, but had taken it behind a newspaper box and pulled its head off with his bare hands.
The Talented Officer Sylvester/West Seattle/Sun June 18/5:10 pm: This report is so well written that Police Beat has decided not to alter or improve it. The author of the mini-masterpiece is Officer Sylvester, who in my opinion (which is the opinion of a university lecturer) is a literary genius. We enter this exquisitely written narrative midway: "Officer Bernston reported via radio that the suspect vehicle continued northbound on 35th Ave SW at a high rate of speed, refusing to stop for his activated lights and siren. Officer Bernston estimated the speeds to be anywhere between 90 to 100 mph. Officer Betaston then reported that the suspect was driving into oncoming traffic, northbound in the southbound lanes. I noted at the time that the streets were wet and that traffic was medium in flow.
"Officer Boggs then advised over radio that the suspect vehicle had just been in a collision and that the black male suspect driver was running eastbound through the houses. Officer Betaston told me later that when the suspect tried to steer back into northbound traffic, the suspect lost control of the vehicle and hit a curb, launching the vehicle into the air. While in the air, the vehicle hit a tree, went through the branches of another tree, and finally collided trunk first into another tree approximately 60 feet from the first tree.
"Knowing the area, I directed Officer Hairston to drive to Camp Long, 5200 35 Ave SW. The park borders the backyards of the houses on 35 Ave SW, where the suspect was last seen running through. As we entered the park, I saw a black male fall as he was running southeast from the backyards. He was covered with mud. He looked up at our marked patrol unit with its lights and siren activated and got up. He then continued to run, not stopping for my commands to stop. He fell a second time and we were able to arrest him."