In addition to scooping this story, Timmerman truly deserves praise for eliciting the dumbest quotes ever to fall from the lips of corporate apologists. Unfortunately, since daily reporters can't call bullshit on nonsense--whoops, I mean, since daily reporters have to remain "objective," Timmerman let the quotes slide. I'd like to take this opportunity to show what Timmerman could have written had he worked for The Stranger, where reporters have every right to challenge things like the dumbest quotes of all time.
Quote #1: Immunex spokesperson Robin Shapiro said, "This was an Immunex decision, not an Amgen decision." Shapiro seemed to miss the point of Timmerman's story--the fact that Seattle taxpayers got rooked--and instead, apparently took offense at the notion that Amgen rather than Immunex is calling the shots. Timmerman should have shot back: "Thanks, Robin, we'll take heart that a Seattle company is willing to fuck over Seattle taxpayers on its own. Thanks for setting such a good precedent. Can't wait to see what California's Amgen feels comfortable getting away with."
Speaking of setting precedents, let's go to Quote #2: Seattle City Council Member Margaret Pageler said, "Whether it is Immunex or anybody else that does business on that land, we have to have [a bridge] so that businesses can operate." Pageler is oblivious to the concept at hand--that Immunex may break its deal with the city--because she's so hung up on defending her general philosophical priority: corporate welfare. Timmerman should have shot back: "Pageler seems to have three important points. First, land in Seattle is exclusively for corporate use. Second, money grows on trees in Seattle, and we're willing to dole it out to companies whether they pay us back or not. Three, since Immunex can't pay us back, let's let Immunex rent the space to other businesses so we can subsidize another stream of income for the biotech firm."
