Useful Information/West Seattle/Sun May 5/8:03 pm: After serving a search warrant, the Seattle Police Department entered a West Seattle house on 35th Ave SW and busted a moderate pot-growing operation. The incident report, which is written by Detective Sean P. Conon, unintentionally offers useful information to those who are considering this line of work but have no idea what's needed to get started.
The grower in this report, who is a professional arborist (and doesn't live in West Seattle, but simply seems to have utilized the West Seattle house for his pot operation), had six starter marijuana plants, 13 starter clone marijuana plants, and 31 mature marijuana plants. Here is a list of the equipment and supplies he used to manage his mini-jungle of pot plants:
1. Eight white light ballasts. 2. Eight light fixtures. 3. Two sun twist arms. 4. Three air purifiers. 5. A bag with seven light bulbs. 6. One bilge pump. 7. Two squirrel-cage fans.
The Professionals/Rainier Beach/Wed May 8/1:23 pm: When Officer Ellithorpe arrived at the scene of the crime (near Kubota Gardens), he made contact with a man who was from Everett and used "very foul language."
"That fucker over there," the Everett man said to Officer Ellithorpe, "chased me with a machete!" He pointed to a man who was sitting dejectedly on the ground in an unkempt yard across the street. "Also," the Everett man continued, "the lady on the phone [the 911 operator] was a total fucking bitch. And now I have to put up with you!"
"I have to hear what happened in order to investigate," Officer Ellithorpe said with cop rationality.
"I'll tell you what happened!" the Everett man replied. "That man over there tried to cut my fucking head off, and he grabbed me by the neck! That's what fucking happened! What the fuck do you need to know?"
Officer Ellithorpe then walked across the street and met with the man on the ground. He was from Ferndale, and explained that he and the Everett man were surveyors hired to measure the piece of property behind him, which has a ravine that's overgrown with brush, bramble, and weeds. While setting up to do a "line shoot" with his "gun" (a slang term for the instrument known as a theodolite, which surveyors use to measure distances, determine relative position, and bring order to unreasonable landscapes), the Ferndale surveyor told the Everett surveyor to cut some obstructing brush and bramble with a machete. The Everett surveyor refused to cut a damn thing. Exasperated by his colleague's extraordinary laziness, the Ferndale surveyor picked up a machete and hacked away at the brush and bramble.
When the Ferndale surveyor returned to his gun to perform the line shoot, the Everett surveyor suddenly became furious and charged at the Ferndale surveyor with a raised machete. The Ferndale surveyor raised his machete. A deadly duel ensued. By some miracle, some cosmic act of God, neither surveyor wound up with his head rolling down the verdant ravine. They lived to tell both sides of the sordid story to Officer Ellithorpe.
