Wanna be a porn star? How far will you go?

Imagine the shock: There I was, minding my own damn business, blandly weeding my way through the exhausted paths of the steamier, sodomy-centric side of the Net, when I clicked on a semi-intriguing link and--PLINK!--there he was. That boy. The guy I dated for a few minutes last summer. His snaily white ass was gazing straight up at heaven, and it was getting pumped like a Texas oil well in an energy crisis. The pumper? That other boy! The once-boyfriend of my former roommate!

Wow. I didn't realize these guys even knew each other....

There was some third guy loitering in the background waiting for HIS turn at bat, and if I squinted and pressed my nose to the monitor, I'd swear to GOD that he was the evening checker at the Safeway up the block. Three guys I just happen to know from Capitol Hill screwing each other in a series of hardcore porn photos? This was seriously perverted... in the best possible way.

These scandalous triple-X pictures of local boys were stills from a lamely titled flick called A Seattle Wet Summer--which at least implied that these really were boys from my 'hood, and I wasn't tripping. I was at the GAE Boy Video website (www.gaevideo.com), the retail outlet for an amateur erotic gay film and photo studio located over on East Denny Way: GAE Productions, "The Northwest's best in boys who wanna be in porn." The site boasts an ambitious little menu of photo discs featuring fresh local meat in various compromising positions, and another menu of equally lamely christened Seattle-centric gay fuck flicks--Seattle Navy Boyz, Seattle Boyz Truth or Dare, Seattle College Boyz--each one featuring some fresh-scrubbed twentysomething face I see on the street every day, and that pathetic on-purpose misspelling of the word "boys."

Everyone who lays hands on a keyboard inevitably tumbles headfirst into cyberspace's vast sexual landscape (whether it was intended or not), and even the most squeamish novice can get exposed to a lot of really wild stuff. It's all been fistfucked, rimmed out, tied up, pissed on, crunched, snuffed, barebacked, teased, permed, and served with a side of bacon. Everything's been done before--except giving frisky boys what they REALLY want: to see that real, tangible, and accessible guy on their morning bus commute fellating that real, tangible, and accessible barista they've had a crush on. It's a genius niche marketing concept: Get young gay Seattle-area males to star in porn flicks, then market them to the stars' curious young gay Seattle-area neighbors! (Of course the downside to all of this is that the majority of Seattleites are pasty as banana slugs and have the sexual charisma of potato salad, and many of the would-be porn stars GAE has managed to immortalize in its videos are no exception.) If you don't want the commitment of ownership, you are invited to purchase time by credit card (10 cents per minute and up) and watch the porn of your choice via streaming video. Also, local rental outlets like Broadway Video carry a nice cross section of GAE videos (although the rental clerk confided that they still haven't really caught on yet). And if you are particularly fond of a certain model, you are even invited to contact him via the GAE website!

The GAE site has an extensive and probing application form for wannabe sex-industry workers. It asks for basics like age, height, weight, and daytime phone number, and then spirals into weirdness. You are asked to choose which common sexual objectification best applies to you: frat boy, twink, A&F model, or "muscle stud." You're asked to gauge the amount of pubic hair God gave you, and list any extra saleable endowments, such as piercings, tattoos, foreskin, a third nipple, or an excitable prostate. They ask about your preferred sexual role designation (top, bottom), fetishes (water sports, bondage), and any other "special skills" (self-fellatio, the ability to take two dicks into the same orifice at once, a complete lack of shame), as well as exactly how far you are willing to go (from solo show to gangbang).

Like an empathetic mother hen, the site's mysterious owners--who failed to respond to queries or to identify themselves--put timid and insecure wannabes at ease by explaining that their models aren't really "porn stars," just "average guys" who like to "get naked, have fun, and get paid for it." But there is real money involved. Models and performers can score anywhere from a quick fix ($25) to rent ($500) and up, "depending on the situations" (whatever that means). "Of course you're going to be a little nervous about this," the site confides. "Everyone is. But everyone who participates always walks away wanting to do it again."

There's only one way to find out whether or not THAT'S true. In the words of GAE, "Will you be next?"