Facial Droop for Life/The Ave/Sun Aug 25/3:45 pm: When a young University District man was questioned by Officer Brown about the stabbing that inflicted a five-inch laceration on the right side of his face (it ran from the cheek to, and through, the ear) the young man replied, "Well, I was drunk and I was being an ass to everybody." When asked for more specific details, he said that the stabber was an "Ave rat," but declined to say anything further about the incident. Officer Brown writes: "The injury was not life-threatening but the victim may suffer 'facial droop' on the right side of his face [for the rest of this life]."

The Anguish of a Pervert's Mother/Downtown/Tues Aug 27/2:42 pm: The following information was conveyed to Officer Hunter by the manager of a popular downtown "nude dance/porn shop." A number of exotic dancers were changing in the dressing room of the business when they heard something move above them in the ceiling. They all looked up and suddenly a leg crashed through a ceiling tile. The leg hung and swung for a moment. Then some more tiles fell and revealed a young man who had an exposed and erect penis. He was holding his erect penis. The dancers screamed. The young man stood up and began scrambling over their heads, causing some more tiles to fall from the ceiling. The business' doormen pursued, captured, and held the young man until the police arrived.

The suspect, who is 18 years old, thin, white, and has a name that starts with the letter V, was transported to the West Precinct and released to his mother after processing. What kind of conversation did the mother have with her "creepy" son as they drove home? Mother: "What do you have to say for yourself, young man?" Son: Says nothing, as he moodily stares out the window at the receding city lights. Mother: "Where did I go wrong?" Son: Again, nothing. Mother: "You know what they call people like you? They call you perverts.... I'm the mother of a pervert.... You masturbated in a ceiling!" The mother slams the brakes; the car comes to an abrupt stop; she begins to cry into her steering wheel. Still, nothing from her son.

Car Wash Robbers/West Seattle/Wed Aug 28/3:24 pm: A man (whom we shall call Donald) was washing his vehicle at a car wash located 1/2 block north of 35th Ave SW and Morgan St when he was approached by a stranger who stated in a boy's voice, "Turn around or I'm going to shoot." The boy pointed a Winchester rifle at the adult. Donald, however, thought the robber was joking because he wore a white bandana over the lower part of his face. "Turn around or I'm going to shoot," the serious boy robber demanded. At that moment, a second stranger who also wore a white bandana mask appeared and said in a boy's voice, "Look, turn around or [my partner]'s going to shoot you." Two boy robbers wearing white bandanas over their faces! This was too much for Donald. He laughed, got into his car, and departed. The boy robbers did not pursue the amused adult.