The Tooth of Crime

The Debtor's Braces/Wallingford/Wed Dec 11/10:56 am: The victim reported to Officer Kelley that at about 10:56 am, she was at the door of a house on 40th Street and Latona Avenue to collect money for Puget Sound Energy. She knocked on the door and the suspect, who was in his 30s and had braces on his teeth, answered. The bill collector told the man with braces that he had to pay his past-due energy bill or else she would shut off the power to his house. She told him that cash was required since a check from him had bounced. The man with braces told her to fuck off. When she didn't fuck off, he picked up a garden hose, turned it on, and sprayed water at her. Officer Kelley writes: "There was a full, hard stream of water, which he sprayed on her for five to 10 seconds while she walked back to her truck. He sprayed her head and body, getting her very wet. She entered her parked truck, he yelled at her for about five minutes, and then got in a car and left northbound. The [bill collector] wants to press charges against the suspect."

Fathers and Sons and Teeth Marks/West Seattle/Sat Dec 14/6:30 pm: When Officer Fisher arrived, he spoke to the mother of the victim, who explained that she and the suspect are in the middle of a divorce, and this was the weekend for their children to visit him. Today, however, the suspect returned the children unexpectedly early, at 6:20 pm on Saturday (he was supposed to have the children until Monday morning). When her children walked in the house, her son (the victim) explained that his father had bitten him on the chest for no apparent reason. She looked at her son's chest and could see teeth impressions. She called the police.

Officer Fisher next spoke to the boy, who explained that he did not know why his father bit him--he never said anything, he just did it.

Later, Officer Fisher went to the address of the suspect and contacted him. Officer Fisher asked the suspect if he had bitten his son. "Yes," the suspect said rather frankly. "Why?" asked the puzzled officer. "We were just playing," answered the suspect. This brief exchange was concluded with an arrest for assault.

Street Teeth/Downtown/Sun Dec 15/midnight: Southbound drivers on Fifth Avenue between Virginia and Stewart witnessed this: The traffic light turned red and vehicles came to a stop in the east curb lane. A man came out of the Westin Hotel with a glass in his hand and began yelling something at a person who was in a vehicle that was first at the red light. The victim ran at the vehicle with the glass raised, as if he were going to throw it at the vehicle. But when he reached the curb, he slipped, and fell into the road. The man struck the pavement face first, damaging all of his front teeth. Another driver exited his car and assisted the man off the road. Westin employees said that the injured man was part of a private party being held in the hotel.

charles@thestranger.com