My Husband/Utah Ave South/Mon Sept 22/4:16 pm: Officer B. Hope reports that today he was told by a complainant that an unknown woman had driven all the way up from Arizona to reclaim her husband (whom we shall call Burt). The unknown woman believes that she is on "a mission of God and that she is [Burt's] true wife." The unknown Arizona woman contends that the complainant stole Burt from her, but now she wants her man back.... Sadly, and this is very sad indeed, the rest of Officer B. Hope's report is unreadable (he writes as if he is using his toes), and so I am not sure how this fascinating incident is resolved.

From Subject to Suspect/Green Lake/Fri Sept 12/7:12 am: With my own enhancements here, and phrases I borrowed from Nabokov here and Dickens there, Officer B. Thomas more or less writes: "[This morning], I responded to a suicidal subject call. I was advised that a subject had called his friend and stated he wanted death and hung up. I arrived at the location and knocked on the basement door. A subject, a white male in his 47th year of life, answered the door and invited me in.

"I asked the subject if he had made any phone calls to friends this morning and he said that he had--to a guy he knew through AA. He called to tell his AA friend that he had started drinking again. I asked him how long he had been sober before relapsing. He said for two weeks, but started drinking again on July 4th.

"I then asked the subject what he did for a living. He said that he was an accountant and was used to a very structured lifestyle. However, when the structure breaks down [meaning, when he is unemployed, as is the case with his present situation] and he has nothing to do, he resorts to drinking. The subject added that he was in his late 40s and without a partner. His most recent long-term partner died about two weeks ago. He said they had been apart for some time, but her death had a severe effect on him.

"Numerous factors contributed to his suffering: alcoholism, loss of job, lack of friends/partner, and loss of direction in life. When I mentioned 'mid-life crisis,' the subject perked up and listened closely. I told him that based on the phone call to his AA buddy, he would have to go to Harborview Medical Center for an evaluation. I told him that I would transport him to HMC, since he was being cooperative and we had a good rapport. Before placing the subject in my patrol car, I patted him down. In his right front pocket, I found a set of keys. As I pulled them out, I also pulled out a baggy containing several small white rocks that appeared to be rock cocaine. I handcuffed the suspect and advised him of his Miranda rights.

"I transported the suspect to the North Precinct, where the white substance was weighed and field-tested. It tested positive for cocaine and weighed approximately 1.8 g. I screened the incident with Sgt. Jandoc."