No Better Friend: Joe Biden continues talking up Israel on his trip to the Middle East.

Based On Experience, I'd Say No: Can Democrats pass health care by Obama's deadline?

Yes, That Sounds About Right: Mayor McGinn says new police chief should be effective and efficient.

BFFs: Afghanistan, Pakistan pledge cooperation.

What Would Falwell Say About That? Aftershocks rock Chile on inauguration day.

Iraq Vote: Maliki's in the lead.

Recovery? Foreclosure filings are now climbing at the lowest they've been in four years.

Making Seattle Schools Look Good: Due to budget shortfall, half of Kansas City's public schools are closing.

Wait, Frozen Taquitos Could Be Bad for You? The salmonella recall widens.

A Massa Coverup? Pelosi's office might have heard complaints against that frackin' douchebag way back in October.

Feds Raid Alleged Illicit Weight Loss Scam: A Port Angeles naturopathic doctor is at the center of an investigation.

Protesting You Protesting Us: Japanese fishmongers protest EU bans of Atlantic bluefin tuna.

Google Corey Haim Truth: Corey Feldman and Corey Haim's agent don't believe that Corey Haim died of a drug overdose.

Can You Help? Slog tipper Karen wants you to take a look at this story in the Seattle Times, about a statistician refugee from Iraq who was denied a job because he's Muslim. Karen says, " It's like we're trying to create the kind of ill will that turns people to terrorism. I really want people to see this story because I hope somebody will offer him a job that can begin to turn things around for this family." Any non-jackasses out there need a good statistician?

And now, your Daily Muppet: