Trash haulers: Back to work, and back at the bargaining table.

Prompt Global Strike: All the accuracy and destruction of a nuclear warhead, without the nuclear warhead.

Oil: Not spilling in huge quantities after the rig explosion off Louisiana.

Deadly fungus: "Spreading among people and animals in the Northwestern United States."

Unmanned U.S. spacecraft: It lifted off, and the rest is top secret.

Greece: A sinking ship, according to its prime minister, and very ready for a bailout.

Wave of bombings: In Iraq.

Krugman: Don't cry for Wall Street.

The Lindsey Graham sex tape: A call for its release.

Biden looking crazy: A tribute slideshow.

And Stewart reprises Go Fuck Yourself, this time in defense of South Park: