The Primary Colors Are White and Angry: Primaries in Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Arkansas and Oregon promise to be exceedingly teabaggy today.

Richard Blumenthal's War: Democrat in Connecticut Senate race lied about fighting in Vietnam.

Stone Wall in Bangkok: The standoff continues in Thailand, with Red Shirts not talking and less combat.

Afghan Attack: Suicide bomber kills 18 in Afghanistan, including five Americans.

Gee, You Think? "Tighter regulations to follow Gulf oil spill."

Jury Selection: Begins today for the trail of Maurice Clemmons' sister.

Think of It as Tax Relief: A potential vote to raise King County's sales tax might not make the August ballot.

Do We Really Need Those? The City Council's new boycott of Arizona's products does not include an earlier $1 million order for cameras that take pictures of cars that run red lights, which are made in Scottsdale.

Wait, He's Republican? Are You Sure She's Female? Indiana Republican will resign after an affair with a female aide.

Sad: The Woodland Park Zoo euthanized a 4-year-old ostrich yesterday, because a fungal infection had claimed one of the bird's legs, and apparently being a one-legged ostrich ain't no kind of life at all.

I Know This Isn't News, but It's a Reminder That Mediocrity Exists, and It Will Try to Choke You to Death If You Give It Half a Chance: Charlie Sheen signs on to two more years on Two and a Half Men.

And now, your Daily Muppet: