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Second, if we're trying to get a generation of kids to stop saying "that's so gay" because it's hurtful, how can you possibly justify saying "retarded"? Or "crippled," or "coloured," or...
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/07/theate…
Not excusing. Just observing.
Spread the word to end th word.
It's offensive, just like the "n" word.
Then, of course, there is the problem with the past passive participle, since the stress falls the same for the pejorative and the legitimate meaning: re-TARD-ed -- that's so re-TARD-ed! and the recession re-TARD-ed economic growth for several quarters.
A group of people who are historically and currently marginalized, and the people who love them, are asking you to stop using a word that was historically used to oppress them.
You can choose to listen and be compassionate, or you can pull out the dictionary to try to "prove" that you're not a total asshole.
As you're choosing the latter, I guess compassion is just too inconvenient for you.
No. Most people who would be labeled as retarded are kind, compassionate people.
Republicans are corporate coprophagists.
Lets look at it from my experience. Back in the 80's I was a special ed student (it was the 80's, they'd put you in special ed just for being in a fucking wheel chair. That wasn't the case with me but still I was and am of above average intellect.). Because I was in special ed I had the r word flung at me daily by regular ed students. I was *beaten* by them because of my status as an alleged "retard". Can you see why I'd have a problem with the word and assholes who use it, much the same way any other person who has had other slurs (racial, sexual, religious, whatever) thrown at them during a beating would?
In this interview http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXgtZ5beE… (start at 7:05) he says...
"So it's funny as long as you think that a retard means something that's stupid."
I'm sorry, but how is "intellectually disabled" not just a fancy way of saying stupid? They have less intellectual capacity, that's what stupid means. Maybe I just haven't met enough of them, but I'm pretty sure I've never met a smart "person with intellectual diffabilities". Perhaps some people with certain conditions at the top ends of the IQ distribution for people with that condition can rise to the level of average or even a little above average, but come on, if it happens it's incredibly rare. The average IQ is 100 with a standard deviation of 15. The average IQ of someone with Down's? 50.
So, the question is, why is it ok to use "stupid" as an insult, which implies an IQ of (let's say) 75-90, while using "retarded" (i.e. implying someone's IQ is less than 70) is not? Is it some level of patheticness that once you cross into that lower range, it's too mean to use as an insult? Or should Shriver be arguing that nobody should use stupid, moron, idiot, imbecile or cretin as an insult either? It's not as if someone who's merely stupid can help it anymore than someone who is mentally retarded.
@24: The difference is that, unless an idea is actually something that a retarded person (or is that bad now even when referring to people who actually have any of various codified intellectual developmental disabilities?) would/did come up with, it's inaccurate to say that an idea is "retarded" (similar to describing something as "gay" that is neither happy nor wants to fuck something of the same gender nor is otherwise identified with a 'gay community'). When one metaphorically invokes a group/property that does not apply to the thing to which one is referring as a general pejorative, it has the additional function of further stigmatizing/marginalizing the members of the group that IS accurately described by the word. With "retarded" it's even more problematic, because you're not just using a marginalized group, but a particularly vulnerable one, the members of which have limited ways to exercise agency and advocate on their own behalves in our extant culture. "Stupid", on the other hand, doesn't refer to a particular IQ range, it refers to something that someone does/says/thinks/etc. in an instance where sie should really know better, based on the available information and hir cognitive abilities. Calling someone "stupid" as a general characteristic is only acceptable in my mind when that person in willfully and obstinately ignorant, and especially when that person refuses to acknowledge this fact. I actually do find it upsetting when people start calling someone who is not terribly bright "stupid" or "an idiot" if that person is well-meaning and doesn't insist sie knows things sie doesn't or consistently operates (poorly) outside the bounds of hir cognitive skill level or knowledge base. laying out someone's shortcomings in a particular area, especially if it's a repeated behavior, when that person makes no claims to the contrary or attempts to act on skills sie doesn't possess is just asshole behavior. For example: calling George W. Bush an idiot when he's just sitting at home not bothering anyone - inappropriate and mean; calling George W. Bush an idiot when he decides it's appropriate or even remotely acceptable for him to be dictating public policy - not just appropriate but important.
But that aside, when you describe someone who makes a poor decision as being retarded you are showing that you are ignorant, imprecise, or you simply do not care that you are making society worse. People with less intelligence do not necessarily make poor choices. On average, they will choose less intelligently more often, but in any particular instance they may choose more intelligently than someone else. Plus, intelligence is about potential. It doesn't show what they did with it. Someone with a lower IQ may end up knowing more and achieving more and generally choosing more intelligently than someone with a higher IQ if they worked harder than someone who started with a greater base potential or if they simply were put into a better environment and had better advantages (better education, better nutrition, better health care, etc.).
So, when you use "retarded" to mean "makes stupid choices" you are engaging in the classic problem of stereotyping. You are assuming that all retarded people make stupid choices all the time. This is harmful and unfair to those who do not, and we've also shown from study after study that stereotypes encourage the behavior they stereotype. So, you are actively making it more difficult for people with low IQ to achieve (by making them expect less of themselves, by making their parents and teachers expect less of them, by encouraging society to give up on them, etc.). And all it really shows is that whatever potential you started out with, you clearly failed to use it sufficiently.
Me: "Retard" is a mean word for someone who has a hard time learning things.
Him: Really? I have a hard time with reading.
Me: That's right.
Him: Well, I didn't think it meant something. I thought it was just a word to call people.
Me: Words usually mean things. If you hear any other words that are hard to figure out, feel free to run them by me or use the dictionary to see what they mean.
Him: ok. (runs off)
No word is out of bounds. Use whatever words you want to get your point across. Just don't pretend to be innocent of what those words mean to a given audience.
Really, it's all about deciding if you care if some people are offended or not. If you don't, use (n-word, fag.., retard, c*nt) et al at your pleasure. If you do, chose alternative words.
I try to go with if I would say it in front of someone's face. I would never use the n-word in front of a black person so why would I feel good about using it in my writing? That's just cowardly.
It's the exact same thing as using the word gay to equal stupid, IE, when kids look at something and say, disapprovingly, "That looks gay." It is a word that refers to other people--now fallen out of use because it became in an insult--used to mean something entirely bad. The biggest difference is that the marginalized group it originally referred to are less likely to be able to protest, which means people like Dan who use it are merely cowards.