Mitt Romney's new campaign slogan: "This is hard."

A way with words. Noted conservative wordsmith Peggy Noonan on the Romney campaign: "This week I called it incompetent, but only because I was being polite. I really meant 'rolling calamity.'"

What goes up... President Obama's convention "bounce" may not be receding, or so says FiveThirtyEight's Nate Silver. Maybe this is not quite so hard as Romney makes it look?

Still waiting for the other 68,000 to come home. The last of the 33,000 "surge" troops President Obama sent into Afghanistan in 2009 have been withdrawn.

Well, I guess that's one way to reduce the poverty rate. For the first time in generations, life expectancy is declining for the least educated Americans.

Don't worry. The free market will handle it. Thousands of firefighters are battling dozens of fires that now cover over 108 square miles on the east slopes of the Cascades. But we should probably leave it to those hardy eastern Washingtonians to handle this themselves, rather than making them reliant on government.

I would've been standing in line, but I couldn't find it. Thousands of eager Apple fans lined up to be among the first to get their hands on the new iPhone 5, and then promptly got lost when they attempted to use the crappy new mapping app to find their way home.

When Amish attack. Sixteen renegade Amish were convicted of hate crimes for cutting the hair and beards of fellow Amish in eastern Ohio.

Maybe we should build the Sonics arena in Bellevue after all, if only to keep their drunken, abusive police officers from coming into Seattle for games? The same off duty Bellevue police officers who surrounded and taunted a Seattle police officer outside the Seahawks game on Sunday, were later tossed out of CenturyLink Field for unruly behavior. One of the officers allegedly warned a complaining fan to "watch himself" should he ever get pulled over in Bellevue.

Oh, that old saw. A 44-year-old Everett woman was convicted of attempted murder for trying to cut her sleeping husband's head off with an electric saw. Her dastardly plot was apparently foiled when her husband was awakened by the noise of the saw. The woman's attorney dismissed the attack as "a very half-hearted attempt."

When my daughter was 7, she asked for a puppy. St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Chris Carpenter had a rib removed to relieve pressure on nerves running to his right arm. Weird. Weirder still, he gave the rib to his 7-year-old daughter Ava, after she asked for it as a souvenir.

It's a cat eat dog world. Fish and Wildlife officers are looking for a cougar near North Bend after it killed a family dog and dragged it off. Cutie, a golden retriever, was 15.

Don't watch this video unless you enjoy seeing a mugger knock somebody unconscious. Police are asking for help identifying this man caught on video brutally attacking and robbing a man August 24 in an alley near the 300 block of Lenora Street.

And finally, Sarah Silverman explains many states' new Voter ID laws, as only Sarah Silverman can: