Joanna Urrego is sick of dealing with other people's shit. And piss.

In the three years since she opened a storefront in Pioneer Square, the city hasn't done enough to divert the human waste piling up and streaming down the alley outside her door, the result of beer-swilling sports fans passing through the neighborhood and a concentration of shelters that unload homeless people into nearby parks during the daytime.

As one homeless man, Jeremiah Johnson, 23, who was hanging out in Occidental Park last weekend put it: "A lot of homeless people are pissing and shitting in the alley because there is nowhere to go to the bathroom."

So Urrego has decided to do something drastic—something that may get her busted—to capture city hall's attention.

"I have a secret plan," Urrego, 38, told me on a warm Saturday afternoon. By 4 p.m., streams of Mariners fans were leaving a baseball game while Sounders fans meandered south for an evening soccer match, crisscrossing Occidental Park across the street from Urrego's shop, an old-time photo studio called Klondike Penny's. "Now is the time when the sports fans start peeing in the alley—the sports fans are even worse than the homeless."

So what's her solution?

"We are secretly building outhouses with little moons cut in the doors," said Urrego, acknowledging that the vigilante porta- potties won't be a secret when this article gets printed. "We are going to bring them down here July 4. And we are going to carry those buckets away ourselves, three times a day, until somebody does something about the problem."

One of Urrego's employees, Myrtle Dobler, 23, also acknowledged that finely dressed women schlepping feces and urine to actual toilets is "not an ideal solution." But, she said, "We will show the city we want something to change."

The two women are even willing to get arrested for illegally installing the homemade shit-houses without a permit.

Businesses have long complained about Pioneer Square's tides of urine and waves of crime. Mayor Mike McGinn announced on his blog in May that the city, along with a community group and a developer, would install a public loo near First Avenue and Yesler Street.

But Urrego said that's too far away from Occidental Park and added that the city, more than anything, needs to pay a full-time park employee to monitor the scene.

One of the neighborhood's authorities is James Grindle, a park concierge who works for the city and fears porta-potties inside the park would be overwhelmed. He typically gives unruly folks a colorful flyer that reminds them that activities such as defecating and shooting heroin are illegal. "I hand them to people, and they tell me to fuck off," he said Saturday. Still, concierge staffing is too spotty, Grindle complained, and he worries the city has lower standards for behavior in Pioneer Square than in the rest of downtown.

Even some homeless folks are frustrated by the public disorder. But Johnson, who has only been staying in Seattle two months, said more law enforcement isn't the solution. "Cops have watched fights and came over when it was done," he said.