Texas Abortion Bill Goes Down in a Flame of Technicalities: Whew, last night was pure Texas shit-show. First, Senate Republicans passed the highly restrictive 20-week abortion ban, after breaking a 10-hour filibuster from imposed by Dems (Wendy Davis for governor!), but Republicans later backpedaled and admitted that the vote took place after its midnight deadline and the state's Lt. Governor complained that he couldn't finish his administrative duties on the measure because of "all the ruckus and noise" coming from protesters. So in the end, the legislation did not pass.

Worse Than Manhattan: A prominent bikeable cities expert rides through downtown Seattle, pronounces the experience "death defying."

Cop Caught Colluding with Bikini Barristas? A sergeant with the Snohomish County Sheriff's Office has been arrested for "allegedly tipping off the owners of seven bikini barista stands to scheduled police surveillance," Komo reports. That does not concern me as much as police making "scheduled surveillance" trips to sniff out prostitution and lewd behavior at bikini coffee huts like Java Jugs and Twin Peaks. Have they no real crime to surveille? If not, can we import some?

Peter Steinbrueck Thinks Peter Steinbruck Doesn't Have a BlackVoice Problem: The mayoral candidate thinks Seattle has a political correctness problem: "If [me reading in black dialect] makes people feel uncomfortable then we should have a conversation about that in this city. That's just too politically correct for me."

Ancient Cow-Sized Lizards: Scientists found some ancient lizards in an African desert. Cow-sized ones.

Return of the Ancient Cow-Sized Lizards: This morning, SCOTUS is expected to finally reveal whether they think same-sex couples deserve basic human rights. Stay tuned!

Incremental Victory for Brazilian Protestors: Yesterday, Brazil's Congress rejected a constitutional amendment that protestors argued would pave the way for more government corruption. Government officials have also promised to speed up reform efforts and dedicate new oil revenue to health and education services.

Romance Novels, Diet Pills, and Nerf Footballs: If the IRS gave me a company credit card to abuse, I'd at least buy more interesting shit, like an indoor fountain that spits mercury.