Many have been thrown into deportation proceedings. Theyre American.
Many have been thrown into deportation proceedings. They're American. goodmoments / Getty Images

Microsoft wants everyone to get paid parental leave: They’re starting with their suppliers. It’s a requirement now for them to offer paid parental leave if they have over 50 employees. Microsoft is hoping that this will increase the adoption of this policy at other companies outside of Microsoft and its supply chain.

Net pen fishing still happening: Last year Cooke Aquaculture had a slight mishap — over 200,000 Atlantic salmon escaped into Washington waters. It was a whole thing. Complicating matters was the fact that salmon were diseased. The Legislature kicked Cooke out of Washington. However, their permits are still functional until 2022. There are 800,000 new Atlantic salmon on their way to net pens in Puget Sound, reports the Seattle Times.

Trump administration is not recognizing Hispanic U.S. citizens as citizens: This is mostly happening along the border in South Texas. U.S. citizens have been denied passport renewals and have been accused of using fraudulent documents since birth just because they are Hispanic. It is becoming increasingly common for U.S. citizens to be entered into deportation proceedings. This is batshit insane. Do yourself a favor and read this entire Washington Post article.

SPD could get a pay raise: It would be a sizable 17 percent hike in wages. The reasoning? They’re in talks to enter a new deal with the city where they make reforms to make them a better, more responsible police department. In exchange they get paid more. It would add civilians to the internal investigation office and tighten up the appeals process for disciplined officers. In exchange, aside from the raise, a policy where officers can be fired for dishonesty was done away with.

Oh fuck me, it’s Kitty Hall today: Listen. I know it’s unpopular to like cats but I love cats. They’re taking over City Hall today for an adoption event. I went last year. I cried. If you are a cat lover, get your ass downtown and go play with kittens. If you are the Cat Carver (Thurston County cat serial killer) do not get your ass downtown. That space is not for you.

Seriously, whose mine was that??? The answer is still and will probably always be “we have no idea.” The abandoned mine that was bobbing in Puget Sound is still puzzling the masses. The current hypothesis is that the mine was one of several placed in local waterways as a defense measure in World War II. If the Nazis strolled through Puget Sound we would’ve blasted ‘em to smithereens. That’s just a theory. The Navy is still sleuthing around. Sidebar: did you know there’s an underwater museum in Keyport?? I just found this out.

Here’s your forecast: Make good choices.

RIP Clint Dempsey: He’s not dead but he might as well be for being 35 in the MLS. Professional athletes age in dog years. Anyway, Old Man Dempsey, 35, is throwing in the towel after 15 years playing professional soccer. He's retiring. I saw him on an Alaska Airlines flight once. That was cool. You will be missed, Clint.

Have you thought about how you’ll shit after the Big One hits? If you’re like me, you’ve thought a lot about putting together an earthquake kit and still haven’t done it. Something people don’t think about is how they’re going to drop a deuce in a post-Cascadia Quake apocalypse. The answer? Get a bucket to squat over. This is a literal article on KING5 right now. But get one for each bodily function you ingrate.

Man arrested for threatening to kill journalists: I love our country!

Yahoo mail is stealing your info: If you’re still using Yahoo for your email — why? It’s okay to branch out. Try gmail, it’s nice and from the 21st century. Aside from being dated and my dad’s only source of news (except for Slog AM now, right dad??), Yahoo scans its users' emails to sell that information to advertisers. Their thought process is that free email should always come with some costs.

Fishing net kills 300 endangered turtles: They were found ensnared in a fishing net off the coast of Mexico. Many were starting to decompose.

An update from my alley:

This isn’t quite about the alley but everything is related anyway so who are you to complain?

My house is old. It is ratty in multiple definitions of the word. Its walls are thin, its paint is cracking. I love every part of this shithole and the people I have lived in it with. We’re moving out after three years on Saturday.

That means a goodbye to this house, some of these people, and this alley. Most of all, for me, it’s a goodbye to the first real, stable home I’ve had. That sounds dramatic, like I was some at-risk youth. I wasn't. I just grew up in a split household with a family and a life molded by separation, defined by divorce. That’s all.

Either way, my definition of home felt fluid. On the weekdays it was my mom’s house where I had all my clothes and my friends. On the weekends it was my dad’s place where I had to memorize the address to confirm my identity at soccer tournaments. It wasn’t bad, it was just inconvenient at times. I like to think that’s why my room was is always so messy, cause I was always packing and unpacking from a week or weekend.

These three years in this shitty green house in the University District were the first years that I’ve lived in one place. I felt more attached and more connected to this neighborhood and its ecosystem than anywhere else. Maybe that’s because of independence, or the ironclad friendships I’ve made here, the love the loss, what have you. I think it’s because I could finally stay put. Whatever it is I will miss it dearly.

Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: A raclette- and beer- filled evening with Lantern Brewing, an arts-filled conversation about the current state of immigration policy in the U.S., and your last chance to get married at the Vegas-style Destinations' Wedding Chapel and Wig Sales.