If he had got SMART tattooed to the back of his head instead, he might have avoided this debacle.

My god, do I love this story. I'm only sad that it is over.

Srgt. Sean Whitcomb needn't be so coy, and could have disclosed that the text was "You can blank my blank."

The address doesn't quite make sense. 4500 block of 45th Avenue ?? It's missing the directional.

I assume you mean 45th Avenue NE, if so then it's in Laurelhurst over by Children's Hospital.

@6 West Seattle

This read like a Mudede write-up.

I wish Callan Berry had illustrated this one.

"…in the University District on the 4500 block of 5th Avenue…" makes perfect sense to me.

It's here: https://www.google.com/maps/@47.6577116,-122.3272647,15.68z?hl=en

Not sure if it's really the University District or if it's Wallingford.

You say "Tremato"...

@2 - Lol, great movie, Idiocracy. @9 - Me too.

Well, Tramato spent a month thinking he was brilliant, now he'll spend a few years thinking maybe he's not quite as bright as he thought.

“'He walked right out the front door,' Whitcomb said.
'It was brilliant in its simplicity.'”

Boy howdy, that WAS brilliant.

Just fucking walk out....
I'm a bit surprised no one thought of that before.

But how do you explain 'ZOOM'?

@9 -- yes.

An incredibly stupid individual.

4500 Block of 5th Ave NE is Wallingford, not U-District. I-5 is the boundary. At least it's not Seattle Times referring to Federal Way as "South Seattle" though.