Comments

3

Children: The reason we can't have nice things

4

Mummy, Mummy, give me my gummies,
yummy yummy in my tummies,
Give them mummy, make it hasty,
Soft and sweet and oh so tasty.
Give it, give it, give it now!
Hurry up you lazy sow!
Until you do I'll scream and shout!
Cry and whine and stomp about!
Until my tummy is full and happy,
I refuse to take a nappy!

5

Oh PLEASE! This will be exactly like the home grow fiasco. A few suggestions will be drawn up, prompltly ignored, and the State will do whatever the fuck it wants.

6

I've got it: just add the language to packaging that eating a cannabis edible makes your dick fall off (will deter boys) or will melt your face into a permanently ugly form (will deter girls). The only sticking point is how to get this across to kids that can't read yet. So The Stranger has a "design child proof graphics" contest to see who comes up with the best image of a dick falling off and an little girl's face morphing into a monster.

Let's see what you come up with.

7

If parents are really so concerned about little Barron or Ivanka (I assume these are the new go-to baby names for RW pearl-clutchers these days) accidentally getting their grubby hands on cannabis edibles, just keep any sharp implements out of their reach - because, seriously, sometimes it seems like you need a pair of industrial shears just to cut through some of that packaging.

8

We're not freaking out about Mike's Hard Lemonade having bright, colorful labels, and that's no more difficult to open than finding a bottle opener. (Actually, I think they're twist-offs.) Why are we supposed to be panicking, again?


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